I know that I say this every week, but I really can't believe how fast time is flying. We're already over halfway there. The baby is kicking up a storm and rolling around all the time.
His new thing is just too cute--as soon as I start eating, he starts rolling around and kicking like I've been starving him his whole life. It's so adorable. Now that he can taste, it is totally fitting for him to get so excited about food. But I don't know if it's just coincidence, because there is no way for him to know that I'm eating when I take the second bite--food can't travel to him that fast, but he does it every time (at least every time it's been a few hours since the last time I ate), so it can't just be coincidence. I love that he gets as excited as I do about delicious food.
Another strange thing is that my belly has totally stopped growing. I mean, I'm still getting bigger, but not nearly as fast as I was before. I gained 10 inches in the first 14 weeks or so of the pregnancy, and then, in the last seven weeks, I've only gained about two more. My belly looks like it's getting bigger and changing shape and everything, but only a little bit. And everything is still normal (so far), so I am trying not to worry that my body is squishing my baby. He's just so sweet and he needs room to grow. Don't you just love him?
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Kicking
I've been feeling the baby moving and kicking for weeks now, which is really fun. But, finally, Michael and I were in the right place at the right time (and both awake and lucid enough) for Michael to get to feel him kick. It is really sweet. I mean, he can only feel the strongest kicks right now, the ones that are definitely kicks. And I guess he could barely feel it, but he felt a couple of kicks before we went to sleep last night. It was funny how the baby would stop kicking as soon as I was confident they were strong enough for Michael to feel them--he's done that for a few days now--Michael suggested that his touch was just so soothing to the baby and made him stop kicking for a minute. But last night, Michael finally caught him in the act. It's really an amazing thing to share.
The baby is usually only active a couple times a day--about an hour or two or so after I wake up (both times) and sometimes a little before I go to bed (the first time--and the second, I guess, but it's the same thing as after I wake up). I go to bed at like 7:45-8:30 and then wake up at about 11:30-12:30 and am up for a few hours, then I go back to sleep and wake up around 5-6. Sometimes he starts kicking sooner, and sometimes he waits a little longer, but he's not usually too active at other times of the day so far, but we have plenty of time for him to change his sleeping habits. I wonder if I change mine (which I am completely incapable of doing) if he would change his. He's such a cute little boy. So adorable and sweet and good and well-mannered and respectful and gentle and loving and all of those other traits you would expect from the most amazing, advanced child alive.
It's amazing to watch my family grow (cheesy, but true, and I'm not apologizing).
The baby is usually only active a couple times a day--about an hour or two or so after I wake up (both times) and sometimes a little before I go to bed (the first time--and the second, I guess, but it's the same thing as after I wake up). I go to bed at like 7:45-8:30 and then wake up at about 11:30-12:30 and am up for a few hours, then I go back to sleep and wake up around 5-6. Sometimes he starts kicking sooner, and sometimes he waits a little longer, but he's not usually too active at other times of the day so far, but we have plenty of time for him to change his sleeping habits. I wonder if I change mine (which I am completely incapable of doing) if he would change his. He's such a cute little boy. So adorable and sweet and good and well-mannered and respectful and gentle and loving and all of those other traits you would expect from the most amazing, advanced child alive.
It's amazing to watch my family grow (cheesy, but true, and I'm not apologizing).
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Week 20--Halfway There Already!
I can't believe that we're at the halfway point right now. I mean, I am really big and I feel kind of ready to have this baby, but I'm just so nervous and excited. I still can't totally believe that it's real. Just 20 more weeks and we'll have an adorable little (cross your fingers!) baby to take home with us and love forever. How fun.
I'm happy that he's a boy. I love that he's a boy. I love the color scheme I have chosen for his nursery (and everything, really). I love that I get to choose the colors and that I love them. There is nothing that I don't love about having a baby (except the fact that my face seems to think I'm 13 years old again, but I'm not blaming the baby for that).
Guys, he is so cute. I just love him!
I found my sweater--so here's the obligatory picture, taken on Michael's and my 40-month wedding anniversary (happy anniversary to us!):
I'm happy that he's a boy. I love that he's a boy. I love the color scheme I have chosen for his nursery (and everything, really). I love that I get to choose the colors and that I love them. There is nothing that I don't love about having a baby (except the fact that my face seems to think I'm 13 years old again, but I'm not blaming the baby for that).
Guys, he is so cute. I just love him!
I found my sweater--so here's the obligatory picture, taken on Michael's and my 40-month wedding anniversary (happy anniversary to us!):
Monday, December 21, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
He's a BOY!!!!
He's a boy! I am so excited. And he's huge. He already weighs 13 ounces. But he has the cutest face. And the cutest hands and feet and arms and legs and belly. And he has a really big brain. He's the smartest baby ever. I just know it. His little baby bum is just too cute. I love him so much. He is just the cutest baby in the whole world to ever exist.
I gained a lot of weight in the last five weeks since my last appointment--like a LOT, but I'm figuring most of it was water weight because I had just drunk a ton of liquids and had just eaten a huge meal, so I'm hoping I really just gained a normal amount.
Being pregnant is SO much more fun now that I'm feeling the baby move all the time--well, not ALL the time, but much more often than a couple weeks ago.
I can't wait to meet my little baby boy. He's just so cute, you guys. I'm not even joking. He is so cute, I just can't stand it!
I gained a lot of weight in the last five weeks since my last appointment--like a LOT, but I'm figuring most of it was water weight because I had just drunk a ton of liquids and had just eaten a huge meal, so I'm hoping I really just gained a normal amount.
Being pregnant is SO much more fun now that I'm feeling the baby move all the time--well, not ALL the time, but much more often than a couple weeks ago.
I can't wait to meet my little baby boy. He's just so cute, you guys. I'm not even joking. He is so cute, I just can't stand it!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Week 19
So, the photo is going to wait until tomorrow (and, again, sorry about the no photo last week).
I just wanted to take a minute and talk about how excited I am to find out if we're having a boy or a girl. I really just can't wait--it's pretty much the most exciting thing ever, and I just hope they can tell us! We go tomorrow, which is pretty early, and I did want to wait until after the holidays, but I'm just so happy and excited to find out--there aren't words. It's not that I want one more than the other or I'll be happier if I have a boy or a girl, it's just so exciting to get to pick out little pink or blue clothes and blankets and accessories and bedding. I just can't wait! Won't that be SO much fun? Tons of little pink things or little blue things. Then my mom will know whether to call the baby Fauntleroy or Thumbelina (because we are still against telling anyone his name before he's born--to minimize the judging all of the judgers in the world do--once he's born and you meet him, you'll fall so in love, who will care if his name is Juggernauseous?).
Being pregnant has been so much fun so far, even though I am getting bigger every day and I already have that silly little waddle going on when I walk, even though my back is constantly hurting and there is nothing I can do to alleviate the pain, even exercise and stretching doesn't really seem to help.
At work, I am fine for the first two hours of the day, but then my body gets so restless--sitting is pure torture. I feel bad getting up every time I want to--especially since I have nothing to do--I just want to walk around. My poor back and legs are so tired when I am sitting down, like they are cramping up and will shrivel and die, but I totally feel like I could walk forever.
But feeling the baby wiggle and move around is the most amazing feeling--so fun and exciting and cute. Guys, I seriously have the cutest baby in the world. On Friday, at the Festivus celebration for work when we went to Joel's show, he was as still as can be until the first time they blasted the music, then he shot straight up and headbutted me. It was sweet. Too cute that the sudden burst of loud music startled his tiny little ears. It's amazing to think that he can already hear and perceive what's going on around him while we've still got over half the pregnancy to go. He's just so little and tiny and so sweet and cute and well-mannered. Maybe he really is a she?
I just wanted to take a minute and talk about how excited I am to find out if we're having a boy or a girl. I really just can't wait--it's pretty much the most exciting thing ever, and I just hope they can tell us! We go tomorrow, which is pretty early, and I did want to wait until after the holidays, but I'm just so happy and excited to find out--there aren't words. It's not that I want one more than the other or I'll be happier if I have a boy or a girl, it's just so exciting to get to pick out little pink or blue clothes and blankets and accessories and bedding. I just can't wait! Won't that be SO much fun? Tons of little pink things or little blue things. Then my mom will know whether to call the baby Fauntleroy or Thumbelina (because we are still against telling anyone his name before he's born--to minimize the judging all of the judgers in the world do--once he's born and you meet him, you'll fall so in love, who will care if his name is Juggernauseous?).
Being pregnant has been so much fun so far, even though I am getting bigger every day and I already have that silly little waddle going on when I walk, even though my back is constantly hurting and there is nothing I can do to alleviate the pain, even exercise and stretching doesn't really seem to help.
At work, I am fine for the first two hours of the day, but then my body gets so restless--sitting is pure torture. I feel bad getting up every time I want to--especially since I have nothing to do--I just want to walk around. My poor back and legs are so tired when I am sitting down, like they are cramping up and will shrivel and die, but I totally feel like I could walk forever.
But feeling the baby wiggle and move around is the most amazing feeling--so fun and exciting and cute. Guys, I seriously have the cutest baby in the world. On Friday, at the Festivus celebration for work when we went to Joel's show, he was as still as can be until the first time they blasted the music, then he shot straight up and headbutted me. It was sweet. Too cute that the sudden burst of loud music startled his tiny little ears. It's amazing to think that he can already hear and perceive what's going on around him while we've still got over half the pregnancy to go. He's just so little and tiny and so sweet and cute and well-mannered. Maybe he really is a she?
Thursday, December 10, 2009
New Pants
I have one pair of maternity pants that I just love, but the legs are about 6 inches too long. Then I have one pair of maternity pants that is kind of lame and I'm hoping will fit better as time goes by and my belly gets bigger.
I have five pair of pants that are so big (mostly because I am so little) and ride so low, I thought they would fit forever.
But a couple really sad things have been happening lately. The other day, I noticed that the olive/khaki (two pair that are the same, just different colors) were getting a little tight, so that would soon knock out two pair, bringing me to just five pair of pants. Then, yesterday, at work, I was wearing a different pair of olive pants, and when I sat down, I had to unbutton them because the button dug into my belly. That was the first time that button had ever been unbuttoned in all the life of those pants. Standing up was no problem, and I still didn't have to unbutton them to take them off. Just the sitting part. But I don't want to deal with that anymore, so that takes out those pants for sure. The olive/pink pants are no longer to be worn during this pregnancy. So, in desperation at the thought of only having three pair of pants that I can still wear (and one of those I don't want to wear again until my belly is even bigger), I went back to the olive/khaki pants. I was all set to wear them today, because they don't have a big button--just a small button and double hook-and-bar closure. Perfect! But they are cut a little smaller than the other pants because they won't even button up. So, I am down to three pair of pants until the two pair of jeans I ordered get here. I hope it's soon because we're running out of time. It's going to be too much to do laundry twice a week just so I can stay in clean pants. But now I REALLY need to get my maternity pants hemmed. I wonder when I can find time to get someone to do that...
The funny part is how sad I felt about it. I mean, I know that maternity pants will give me a little more of the back support I need and will be so much more comfortable for me now that my belly is really getting big. But none of that matters. It is so hard for me to have to say goodbye to my normal pants. It's so sad. Buying/wearing maternity shirts was awesome and exciting and I loved it so much. It was great. I still love it. I love that I totally fill them out, too, even if I am kind of starting to grow out of one of them already and I still have five months to go. It's fine. But having to wear maternity pants all day is breaking my heart. So many of them just look hideous and awful and I would rather die than wear them (don't get me started on the maternity garmies--hateful old women who design them and make them so they are neither comfortable nor functional!), and the ones that I like all cost more than I can pay for them.
I hope to soon be able to resign myself to wearing maternity pants all the time, because that is what is going to have to happen. I should stop talking about it in the future tense, because it's happening right now. I do have one more pair of pants that is not maternity, and I really like that. And I am looking forward to finally being able to wear jeans again. That is something. There is a bright side. I just hope the new jeans fit well and don't suck and that I can get the lot of pants hemmed before long.
I have five pair of pants that are so big (mostly because I am so little) and ride so low, I thought they would fit forever.
But a couple really sad things have been happening lately. The other day, I noticed that the olive/khaki (two pair that are the same, just different colors) were getting a little tight, so that would soon knock out two pair, bringing me to just five pair of pants. Then, yesterday, at work, I was wearing a different pair of olive pants, and when I sat down, I had to unbutton them because the button dug into my belly. That was the first time that button had ever been unbuttoned in all the life of those pants. Standing up was no problem, and I still didn't have to unbutton them to take them off. Just the sitting part. But I don't want to deal with that anymore, so that takes out those pants for sure. The olive/pink pants are no longer to be worn during this pregnancy. So, in desperation at the thought of only having three pair of pants that I can still wear (and one of those I don't want to wear again until my belly is even bigger), I went back to the olive/khaki pants. I was all set to wear them today, because they don't have a big button--just a small button and double hook-and-bar closure. Perfect! But they are cut a little smaller than the other pants because they won't even button up. So, I am down to three pair of pants until the two pair of jeans I ordered get here. I hope it's soon because we're running out of time. It's going to be too much to do laundry twice a week just so I can stay in clean pants. But now I REALLY need to get my maternity pants hemmed. I wonder when I can find time to get someone to do that...
The funny part is how sad I felt about it. I mean, I know that maternity pants will give me a little more of the back support I need and will be so much more comfortable for me now that my belly is really getting big. But none of that matters. It is so hard for me to have to say goodbye to my normal pants. It's so sad. Buying/wearing maternity shirts was awesome and exciting and I loved it so much. It was great. I still love it. I love that I totally fill them out, too, even if I am kind of starting to grow out of one of them already and I still have five months to go. It's fine. But having to wear maternity pants all day is breaking my heart. So many of them just look hideous and awful and I would rather die than wear them (don't get me started on the maternity garmies--hateful old women who design them and make them so they are neither comfortable nor functional!), and the ones that I like all cost more than I can pay for them.
I hope to soon be able to resign myself to wearing maternity pants all the time, because that is what is going to have to happen. I should stop talking about it in the future tense, because it's happening right now. I do have one more pair of pants that is not maternity, and I really like that. And I am looking forward to finally being able to wear jeans again. That is something. There is a bright side. I just hope the new jeans fit well and don't suck and that I can get the lot of pants hemmed before long.
Being Sick (not just me)
It's that time of year again. Michael is getting really sick and he's starting to share it with me.
I woke up in the middle of the night just feeling awful, probably because he is breathing on me all night, all of those sick germs infecting me with their hatred. I wondered if I would have to take a sick day today, but then I realized that I felt much better four hours later, at 5 AM. Not super, but not so sick I could just die. But it's coming. It'll probably hit shortly after Michael starts feeling better, which will probably be next week. I just hope he feels well enough to go to "work" tomorrow and Saturday, because if I have to go to the ward Christmas party and set up for 8 hours and then be there for three hours and then take everything down for three hours while he's at home, being sick and enjoying his day, I will be SO upset. I mean, I know he won't be able to help it, but Saturday is going to be a horrible day and if he doesn't have to suffer, too, either at "work" or at the 14-hour (at least) Christmas event, I will be very sad and envious.
But, the point is I am going to be getting sick very soon. And I'm guessing it will either hit on the weekend, or I'll have to make my body live for the whole of next week before finally letting myself be sick on the weekend. I just hope all of the sickness is over before Christmas because I LOVE Christmas so much!
I woke up in the middle of the night just feeling awful, probably because he is breathing on me all night, all of those sick germs infecting me with their hatred. I wondered if I would have to take a sick day today, but then I realized that I felt much better four hours later, at 5 AM. Not super, but not so sick I could just die. But it's coming. It'll probably hit shortly after Michael starts feeling better, which will probably be next week. I just hope he feels well enough to go to "work" tomorrow and Saturday, because if I have to go to the ward Christmas party and set up for 8 hours and then be there for three hours and then take everything down for three hours while he's at home, being sick and enjoying his day, I will be SO upset. I mean, I know he won't be able to help it, but Saturday is going to be a horrible day and if he doesn't have to suffer, too, either at "work" or at the 14-hour (at least) Christmas event, I will be very sad and envious.
But, the point is I am going to be getting sick very soon. And I'm guessing it will either hit on the weekend, or I'll have to make my body live for the whole of next week before finally letting myself be sick on the weekend. I just hope all of the sickness is over before Christmas because I LOVE Christmas so much!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Week 18
It's exciting to watch time fly by so fast. Now that we're not on mandatory overtime at work anymore, I feel like I have so much time I just don't know what to do with it. So I do nothing. And then I go to sleep and feel great. I'm slowly catching up on sleep and I love every moment of it.
It's getting harder to move around, which is kind of funny. And I sometimes wonder if I just look fat or if I really do look pregnant. I mean, I know that I look pregnant, but if I'm wearing two sweaters and a scarf, is it possible that I just look fat? I hope not.
Can you believe that in five months, we'll have a baby? A little baby. It seems so unreal still sometimes--like whenever I think about it. It's going to be here before you know it. I mean, in just two weeks, we'll be halfway through the pregnancy already, and that seems totally impossible. How does anyone get ready for a baby so soon? We still haven't gotten anything yet. And there is so much left to do.
I love all of the preparation and the excitement and everything that is going on right now! It's so stressful, but so wonderful and exciting. There isn't anything like it. Getting married was wonderful, stressful, and exciting, but it was different because I knew what Michael was like and I knew pretty much everything would be the same as before (with a few awesome differences that I could go on about forever), but more or less the same. And now, everything will be different, and we get to know a whole new person that we get to love and protect and teach and be responsible for for a very long time. I just can't wait!
Do you think my belly looks pointy and huge? Some girl at work (I have never met her before) said that my belly is huge and pointy. I don't think it looks pointy, but maybe it does and I just can't see.
Oh, and no picture this week. Sorry. There has been a mishap with the pink sweater I wear in the picture. We may have to search for an alternative garment.
It's getting harder to move around, which is kind of funny. And I sometimes wonder if I just look fat or if I really do look pregnant. I mean, I know that I look pregnant, but if I'm wearing two sweaters and a scarf, is it possible that I just look fat? I hope not.
Can you believe that in five months, we'll have a baby? A little baby. It seems so unreal still sometimes--like whenever I think about it. It's going to be here before you know it. I mean, in just two weeks, we'll be halfway through the pregnancy already, and that seems totally impossible. How does anyone get ready for a baby so soon? We still haven't gotten anything yet. And there is so much left to do.
I love all of the preparation and the excitement and everything that is going on right now! It's so stressful, but so wonderful and exciting. There isn't anything like it. Getting married was wonderful, stressful, and exciting, but it was different because I knew what Michael was like and I knew pretty much everything would be the same as before (with a few awesome differences that I could go on about forever), but more or less the same. And now, everything will be different, and we get to know a whole new person that we get to love and protect and teach and be responsible for for a very long time. I just can't wait!
Do you think my belly looks pointy and huge? Some girl at work (I have never met her before) said that my belly is huge and pointy. I don't think it looks pointy, but maybe it does and I just can't see.
Oh, and no picture this week. Sorry. There has been a mishap with the pink sweater I wear in the picture. We may have to search for an alternative garment.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Maybe I'm just hormonal
But people are really getting on my nerves. Especially the 33-year-old men who may or may not work in my office and may or may not smell like they caked on women's baby powder fresh deodorant and still never wash their hair or scalp. The horror--the torture. Perfumy stench and dirty scalp stench. I wish I could die.
Just to be clear--you make me want to kill myself. And it's not just your stench. It's also the fact that you never do your job right and you never pay attention to anyone but Karly (which only bothers me when you awkwardly drool over her and ignore all of the work-related conversations we have) and so many other things. But the stench is a really big part of it, too.
Just to be clear--you make me want to kill myself. And it's not just your stench. It's also the fact that you never do your job right and you never pay attention to anyone but Karly (which only bothers me when you awkwardly drool over her and ignore all of the work-related conversations we have) and so many other things. But the stench is a really big part of it, too.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Week 17
Already! Wow, is time really flying or what? Crazy, I know. I'm still just big, big, big, and my back hurts all the time and my legs and feet get restless if I'm sitting for too long, but I am loving being pregnant. I love knowing that my baby is growing so big and has a good heartbeat and seems really healthy so far.
We're almost halfway through the whole pregnancy, which is such an amazing thought. I love to think about how, in just five more months, we'll have a sweet little baby to hold and cuddle and feed and rock and just love.
Michael refuses to sing to the baby before he's born, and I'm not sure why exactly. I talk to the baby all the time. I just love him so much! I'm sure he's the cutest thing to ever exist on the planet. And I can't wait to find out if he's a boy or a girl. That is going to be the greatest thing so far. Well, not as awesome as finding out we're having a baby, but really close.
Today, I wore a shirt that I thought I would still fit into, but apparently, I don't. That is really sad. I'm already growing out of my big clothes. I can't wait for this workday to be over so I can change my shirt and not feel like I have to constantly tug and pull and smooth out and down my shirt to maintain some level of decency. It will be so nice to be able to wear whatever I want and not have to worry and fret that I just wore that shirt two days ago, because I only own thee shirts. But, in the meantime, we'll just enjoy the blossoming belly.
We're almost halfway through the whole pregnancy, which is such an amazing thought. I love to think about how, in just five more months, we'll have a sweet little baby to hold and cuddle and feed and rock and just love.
Michael refuses to sing to the baby before he's born, and I'm not sure why exactly. I talk to the baby all the time. I just love him so much! I'm sure he's the cutest thing to ever exist on the planet. And I can't wait to find out if he's a boy or a girl. That is going to be the greatest thing so far. Well, not as awesome as finding out we're having a baby, but really close.
Today, I wore a shirt that I thought I would still fit into, but apparently, I don't. That is really sad. I'm already growing out of my big clothes. I can't wait for this workday to be over so I can change my shirt and not feel like I have to constantly tug and pull and smooth out and down my shirt to maintain some level of decency. It will be so nice to be able to wear whatever I want and not have to worry and fret that I just wore that shirt two days ago, because I only own thee shirts. But, in the meantime, we'll just enjoy the blossoming belly.
Christmas 2009 (the Preparation)
Guys, I love Christmas SO much! Especially the lights, the tree, the songs, the wrapped gifts, the fudge, the cookies, the peppermint ice cream, the treats, the feeling of utter bliss all day every day, the smell of cloves and cinnamon simmering on the stove, the hot apple cider, the fun Christmas movies, oranges and clementines, and everything else about the happiness and warmth of the season. I just love it. Yesterday, Michael let me get more Christmas lights so we can seriously have them all over our house--we didn't have enough to cover our room and I love to have Christmas lights in my room (because I'm an adult and I can do what I want, dangit!). I know that Michael hates it because I fall asleep with the lights on and then he has to unplug them, but I just love it so much. It's so nice of him to suffer through that so I can be happy and amused.
We also bought our tree yesterday. It is the cutest tree alive. It's so little and ugly. Not the ugliest tree we've had (not by a long shot), and we had to cut off the ugliest branches so it would fit in the bucket (because it's too skinny for a tree stand, of course), so it's not the most excited I've been about a tree in my live, but I just love it so much! I love that we have a tree already. We haven't put the baby candy canes on it yet, but we will probably do that tonight. We did buy the baby candy canes, though, and I am secretly hoping we have enough left over for me to play with and crush up in my cocoa.
My baby brother hung the hooks so we could easily hang the lights--thanks, Joe Joe Bear! So we hung the lights on Sunday and it was just magnificent. I decided against getting out all of my Christmas dishes and things, opting for only the blue Santa and his sleigh that I put on the "coffee table" every year and a couple of snowman bowls I use as candy dishes (because I absolutely adore seasonal candy--seasonal anything, really), oh and I got out a couple of serving plates--to put treats on. I love Christmas treats. I can't wait to make fudge! I am hoping to make two batches of fudge this year. But that is a lot of fudge in just one month. The other batch will probably just have to wait until year (or whenever I feel like it is justifiable to make some more again). I mean, there are neighbors who love fudge, family who loves fudge, coworkers who love fudge, and I'm sure a little tiny baby calling out to me for fudge right now, so I am not worried about there being enough mouths to eat it. Yum!
I haven't started simmering the cloves and cinnamon on the stove yet, but I can't wait to feel like I'll be home for long enough to enjoy it! Right now, with working 50 hours a week, I just feel like it would be wasting the Christmas joy to spend the time and ingredients right now. But soon. I just know it.
Cocoa every day and eggnog and cider. I love everything. And I am so happy that it's Christmastime.
We also bought our tree yesterday. It is the cutest tree alive. It's so little and ugly. Not the ugliest tree we've had (not by a long shot), and we had to cut off the ugliest branches so it would fit in the bucket (because it's too skinny for a tree stand, of course), so it's not the most excited I've been about a tree in my live, but I just love it so much! I love that we have a tree already. We haven't put the baby candy canes on it yet, but we will probably do that tonight. We did buy the baby candy canes, though, and I am secretly hoping we have enough left over for me to play with and crush up in my cocoa.
My baby brother hung the hooks so we could easily hang the lights--thanks, Joe Joe Bear! So we hung the lights on Sunday and it was just magnificent. I decided against getting out all of my Christmas dishes and things, opting for only the blue Santa and his sleigh that I put on the "coffee table" every year and a couple of snowman bowls I use as candy dishes (because I absolutely adore seasonal candy--seasonal anything, really), oh and I got out a couple of serving plates--to put treats on. I love Christmas treats. I can't wait to make fudge! I am hoping to make two batches of fudge this year. But that is a lot of fudge in just one month. The other batch will probably just have to wait until year (or whenever I feel like it is justifiable to make some more again). I mean, there are neighbors who love fudge, family who loves fudge, coworkers who love fudge, and I'm sure a little tiny baby calling out to me for fudge right now, so I am not worried about there being enough mouths to eat it. Yum!
I haven't started simmering the cloves and cinnamon on the stove yet, but I can't wait to feel like I'll be home for long enough to enjoy it! Right now, with working 50 hours a week, I just feel like it would be wasting the Christmas joy to spend the time and ingredients right now. But soon. I just know it.
Cocoa every day and eggnog and cider. I love everything. And I am so happy that it's Christmastime.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Mandatory Overtime
Overtime is killing me. Dead. I don't know how Michael lives with me. All I do is work and cry (sometimes in an angry voice) about how I still have to work that evening/the next day. I just need a break. I'm so tired. We are entering the 7th week in a row of mandatory overtime and I am slowly dying inside. If I have to work 50 hours again next week, I may just call in sick all week.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Week 16
So, here we are. Already.
And you had better not say anything mean around my baby because he can totally hear you now! (How cute is that?)
And something happened when my computer crashed that made it so I can't upload the picture, so it'll have to wait for a little minute. Sorry, guys.
And here we go:
And you had better not say anything mean around my baby because he can totally hear you now! (How cute is that?)
And something happened when my computer crashed that made it so I can't upload the picture, so it'll have to wait for a little minute. Sorry, guys.
And here we go:
Friday, November 20, 2009
Well, SOMETHING Is Shrinking
So, I noticed today, just this moment, that my belly button is disappearing. Goodbye, Bellybutton, you were so good to me for so long.
I can't believe what used to be a normal-sized, normal-depth belly button is now so shallow and tiny. It doesn't look real at all. My belly is huge and round, like a plastic Santa doll or something. With no belly button.
I kind of miss it and dread the day it's gone completely.
I can't believe what used to be a normal-sized, normal-depth belly button is now so shallow and tiny. It doesn't look real at all. My belly is huge and round, like a plastic Santa doll or something. With no belly button.
I kind of miss it and dread the day it's gone completely.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Week 15
Wow. Here we are at week 15. My back is starting to seriously hurt. It's crazy. I've never had lower back pain before. It's always been my upper back that has hurt. Now, it's both. And mostly my lower back (and you can see why!).
I had a pretty good day. I ordered some new bras (online, of course, because no store on earth sells my size--bless their hearts) and I was sad to see that the prettier one didn't fit--nor will it ever fit in this lifetime. I was so squished that I wanted to collapse onto my bed in defeat. But my bed is getting really hard to climb into, so that wasn't about to happen. I can't believe it's going to get worse for six more months before it gets better. I can't imagine having a harder time getting around than I'm already having now.
The other day, I dropped my glasses under my desk and I tried to pick them up, but I couldn't bend down that far, and I couldn't get down on my knees. Michael wasn't home, so I had to leave him a note to please pick them up for me. It's so ridiculous.
But in another month, we'll get to know if we're having a boy or a girl, and I just can't wait. It is going to be so much fun. I can't believe how fast time has gone by and how insanely big I've gotten so far. And there is more where that came from.
By the way, I tried really hard to not make my I-hate-getting-my-picture-taken (AKA the I-am-really-uncomfortable-right-now-in-this-situation-and-I-wish-it-were-over) face. But it just came out the same. Oopsie.
I had a pretty good day. I ordered some new bras (online, of course, because no store on earth sells my size--bless their hearts) and I was sad to see that the prettier one didn't fit--nor will it ever fit in this lifetime. I was so squished that I wanted to collapse onto my bed in defeat. But my bed is getting really hard to climb into, so that wasn't about to happen. I can't believe it's going to get worse for six more months before it gets better. I can't imagine having a harder time getting around than I'm already having now.
The other day, I dropped my glasses under my desk and I tried to pick them up, but I couldn't bend down that far, and I couldn't get down on my knees. Michael wasn't home, so I had to leave him a note to please pick them up for me. It's so ridiculous.
But in another month, we'll get to know if we're having a boy or a girl, and I just can't wait. It is going to be so much fun. I can't believe how fast time has gone by and how insanely big I've gotten so far. And there is more where that came from.
By the way, I tried really hard to not make my I-hate-getting-my-picture-taken (AKA the I-am-really-uncomfortable-right-now-in-this-situation-and-I-wish-it-were-over) face. But it just came out the same. Oopsie.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Nesting
I think I've really started getting that nesting instinct. I just want to run around and clean and organize everything.
Monday night, Michael and I went to Office Depot to get binders and page protectors so I can organize all of my knitting patterns.
I can't wait to get another bookshelf so we can have all of our books on a bookshelf and get the storage room cleaned up and out. I want to keep all of our empty boxes, but I'm ready to get rid of a lot of stuff from my past. I can't wait to reorganize my bedroom and make room for our sweet little baby. I really feel the need to get everything done now and get all ready. I just want to spend the next six months scrubbing every corner of the apartment and making baby blankets and things--I don't want to be caught without a crib or anything and then have a baby that we can't clothe or allow to sleep anywhere.
How cute is it that Michael and I are going to have a baby? I LOVE babies! Especially ours. He's the cutest baby ever. I promise. Totally adorable and I can't wait to meet him (or her). But, in the meantime, I'm trying really hard to get all ready and make sure everything is perfectly cleaned and organized so that, when the time comes, I can just relax and enjoy the first few moments of my baby's life.
Monday night, Michael and I went to Office Depot to get binders and page protectors so I can organize all of my knitting patterns.
I can't wait to get another bookshelf so we can have all of our books on a bookshelf and get the storage room cleaned up and out. I want to keep all of our empty boxes, but I'm ready to get rid of a lot of stuff from my past. I can't wait to reorganize my bedroom and make room for our sweet little baby. I really feel the need to get everything done now and get all ready. I just want to spend the next six months scrubbing every corner of the apartment and making baby blankets and things--I don't want to be caught without a crib or anything and then have a baby that we can't clothe or allow to sleep anywhere.
How cute is it that Michael and I are going to have a baby? I LOVE babies! Especially ours. He's the cutest baby ever. I promise. Totally adorable and I can't wait to meet him (or her). But, in the meantime, I'm trying really hard to get all ready and make sure everything is perfectly cleaned and organized so that, when the time comes, I can just relax and enjoy the first few moments of my baby's life.
Yesterday's Midwife Appointment
The appointment yesterday went really well (until all of the afterward part).
Margy is great. We got to hear our baby's heartbeat (which is exactly the same rate as it was last time, so exciting!). Margy decided to measure me because I have something to measure, even though most girls at 14 weeks don't. This makes her think that maybe I am farther along than we think, so she's having us to the ultrasound before we wanted to, which is fine, I guess, it'll just end up costing us a lot more. But if it means finding out that we're due in April instead of May, that is a wonderful thing (as long as I don't have to share my birthday--I'm not a sharer when it comes to my birthday). But don't worry--Michael has already informed me that if the baby is born on my birthday, I will still have to love him (and I promise I will, even if I have to share my own personal birthday). But now, we'll be able to tell our family at Christmas if we're having a boy or a girl--that will be so much fun. And we all know that I can't keep a secret to save my life. Now that I know it's only five weeks away, I just can't wait to find out if we're having a boy or a girl. And I hope that they tell me I'm 21 weeks pregnant and not 19. That would be great! I am just so excited for the baby to come. I can't wait!
After the fun time with Margy, I had to get a flu shot from Cheryl. That was okay. She did a really good job. I only freaked out a little bit. But then I had to get my blood drawn for all of those crazy tests they do. And the girl who was there did a really bad job and it hurt like crazy. She took four vials of blood and then, when she took the needle out of my arm, she must not have done something right, because I started bleeding all over the place, losing even more of my precious blood that I need myself. It really hurt when she took the needle out, too, which is a new experience for me. And not a pleasant one, I'll tell you. Then I had to give another urine sample, and when I told the girl I didn't think I could, she just laughed like I was the most ridiculous girl ever, like just because I'm pregnant, I can pee on command (which she really did say), but I had just peed half an hour earlier, and I hadn't had any water yet in the day--all I had was a bowl of cereal with milk. So I really didn't pee very much at all. I didn't give her enough for the two vials she needed. I hope she makes do. Or not. I don't care. She wasn't the nicest girl ever--treating me like a freak because I can't pee on command when I'm pregnant and haven't had a glass of water in 12 hours and am totally parched and she hurt me so much and she stole all of my blood.
One really good thing happened at the appointment. I learned that I've only gained 4-5 pounds so far. I mean, seeing as how you're really only supposed to gain about a pound a month in the first trimester, it isn't that great, but also for how big I've gotten, I really haven't gained much weight. That is great. Suddenly, even though I'm huge, I don't feel repulsive, and I've started to feel like a cute pregnant girl. Just like I've always wanted to be. So look out World. I'm adorable. And huge. And I often bump into things.
Margy is great. We got to hear our baby's heartbeat (which is exactly the same rate as it was last time, so exciting!). Margy decided to measure me because I have something to measure, even though most girls at 14 weeks don't. This makes her think that maybe I am farther along than we think, so she's having us to the ultrasound before we wanted to, which is fine, I guess, it'll just end up costing us a lot more. But if it means finding out that we're due in April instead of May, that is a wonderful thing (as long as I don't have to share my birthday--I'm not a sharer when it comes to my birthday). But don't worry--Michael has already informed me that if the baby is born on my birthday, I will still have to love him (and I promise I will, even if I have to share my own personal birthday). But now, we'll be able to tell our family at Christmas if we're having a boy or a girl--that will be so much fun. And we all know that I can't keep a secret to save my life. Now that I know it's only five weeks away, I just can't wait to find out if we're having a boy or a girl. And I hope that they tell me I'm 21 weeks pregnant and not 19. That would be great! I am just so excited for the baby to come. I can't wait!
After the fun time with Margy, I had to get a flu shot from Cheryl. That was okay. She did a really good job. I only freaked out a little bit. But then I had to get my blood drawn for all of those crazy tests they do. And the girl who was there did a really bad job and it hurt like crazy. She took four vials of blood and then, when she took the needle out of my arm, she must not have done something right, because I started bleeding all over the place, losing even more of my precious blood that I need myself. It really hurt when she took the needle out, too, which is a new experience for me. And not a pleasant one, I'll tell you. Then I had to give another urine sample, and when I told the girl I didn't think I could, she just laughed like I was the most ridiculous girl ever, like just because I'm pregnant, I can pee on command (which she really did say), but I had just peed half an hour earlier, and I hadn't had any water yet in the day--all I had was a bowl of cereal with milk. So I really didn't pee very much at all. I didn't give her enough for the two vials she needed. I hope she makes do. Or not. I don't care. She wasn't the nicest girl ever--treating me like a freak because I can't pee on command when I'm pregnant and haven't had a glass of water in 12 hours and am totally parched and she hurt me so much and she stole all of my blood.
One really good thing happened at the appointment. I learned that I've only gained 4-5 pounds so far. I mean, seeing as how you're really only supposed to gain about a pound a month in the first trimester, it isn't that great, but also for how big I've gotten, I really haven't gained much weight. That is great. Suddenly, even though I'm huge, I don't feel repulsive, and I've started to feel like a cute pregnant girl. Just like I've always wanted to be. So look out World. I'm adorable. And huge. And I often bump into things.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Week 14
What? Did I seriously just say that? That means that the first trimester is ending and the second one is beginning (depending on if you think this week is part of the first trimester or not). But soon, there will be no question that I'm in the second trimester, which mean that I will finally be justified in starting to show/look pregnant. I've looked pregnant for over a month now. But now I'm allowed to, according to what I've read (now that you're in your second trimester you MAY start to show)--like there is no way anyone in the first trimester EVER looks pregnant.
Whatever, jerkfaces. I do what I want.
But here I am, at week 14, looking all cute and pregnant:
Michael always asks me why I make this face when he takes my picture--here's the answer: I hate getting my picture taken and my skin is always so shiny and there isn't really anything I can do about it and I feel a little freakish insisting that he take my picture ALL the time. But I feel like this should be preserved for posterity.
Whatever, jerkfaces. I do what I want.
But here I am, at week 14, looking all cute and pregnant:
Michael always asks me why I make this face when he takes my picture--here's the answer: I hate getting my picture taken and my skin is always so shiny and there isn't really anything I can do about it and I feel a little freakish insisting that he take my picture ALL the time. But I feel like this should be preserved for posterity.
Hard Times at Work Today
A conversation at work (maybe today, maybe yesterday, maybe late last week, even) that involved Joel, mostly, I think, involved Joel's saying how he sometimes felt a little bad that he could just look at Bethany and she'd get pregnant, and he felt a little bad sometimes because they have so many friends who are trying to have kids and they just can't. That is something that I can totally relate to. It's sometimes hard when all of my friends are having their third, fourth, or fifth kids and I still can't have one. I identify with how hard it can be. It's sometimes hard to be happy for my friends, even though I want to be. But I still tried and I never missed a baby shower I was invited to and I never said mean things about anyone who was having a million kids (except maybe my sister had TOO many kids way too close together), and never out of envy. I honestly believe Chelsea had her kids way too close together for her to be able to handle and she's never been able to catch up on her sleep or sanity and she's totally turned into a frazzled old woman at the age of 33.
But today, someone at work started hating on people who say they are trying to have kids. He said some really hateful things, demeaning a couple's pain when they just want to share their love, lives, and joy with a baby of their own. It was really hurtful to me. I wanted to yell at him that it's totally inappropriate to mock them for saying that they are trying. Sure, "trying" implies having sex, and I'm sorry taht he can't handle the idea of married people having sex when he's been in a drought since he moved to Utah. But "trying" often implies so much more--with medical interventions and stress and faith and so much that no one ever sees. When he said those mean things, I was so offended and sad. I almost cried (not that it takes a lot for me to cry these days, but it was so inappropriate). How can someone be so oblivious to someone else's pain?
I mean, I know that a week or so ago, this guy said that he wanted to stop being so mean and start being nicer, and then asked me, very seriously, about ways he could start being nicer to people. And I told him that I didn't know except to start seeing people as people who have other things going on in their lives and problems and hard times that we can't and may never see. He replied, "Yeah, I don't think I could do that." And then dropped it. So why am I surprised when he's mocking people that have a hard time having kids and tell people that they are trying? Guys, here's a shocker: I am married and I have sex with my husband. In the end, that is how I got pregnant. But there was a lot more involved in it than that. There were a lot of tears, there was a lot of prayer, there was a lot of wishing, talking, internal dialogues, and then there was a lot of stress and worry and the threat of a lot of medical interventions.
I don't know why I was so offended by his offhand comments--saying things like, "oh, you're trying to have kids? What--does that like take an advanced degree or something?" "Gross--you're trying to have kids, that is not anything I want to hear about." I can't believe anyone who is 33 years old is that immature to not realize that not every couple can get pregnant the second they want to. I know I shouldn't be so invested in things he does--to mock so flippantly the couples that Joel was talking about. But it is hurtful, because, even though he didn't realize he was making fun of me, and I never told people that Michael and I were "trying" to have kids, but that was my situation until three months ago. It's just rude that he can't see other people as people who have things going on in their lives that we aren't a part of.
But today, someone at work started hating on people who say they are trying to have kids. He said some really hateful things, demeaning a couple's pain when they just want to share their love, lives, and joy with a baby of their own. It was really hurtful to me. I wanted to yell at him that it's totally inappropriate to mock them for saying that they are trying. Sure, "trying" implies having sex, and I'm sorry taht he can't handle the idea of married people having sex when he's been in a drought since he moved to Utah. But "trying" often implies so much more--with medical interventions and stress and faith and so much that no one ever sees. When he said those mean things, I was so offended and sad. I almost cried (not that it takes a lot for me to cry these days, but it was so inappropriate). How can someone be so oblivious to someone else's pain?
I mean, I know that a week or so ago, this guy said that he wanted to stop being so mean and start being nicer, and then asked me, very seriously, about ways he could start being nicer to people. And I told him that I didn't know except to start seeing people as people who have other things going on in their lives and problems and hard times that we can't and may never see. He replied, "Yeah, I don't think I could do that." And then dropped it. So why am I surprised when he's mocking people that have a hard time having kids and tell people that they are trying? Guys, here's a shocker: I am married and I have sex with my husband. In the end, that is how I got pregnant. But there was a lot more involved in it than that. There were a lot of tears, there was a lot of prayer, there was a lot of wishing, talking, internal dialogues, and then there was a lot of stress and worry and the threat of a lot of medical interventions.
I don't know why I was so offended by his offhand comments--saying things like, "oh, you're trying to have kids? What--does that like take an advanced degree or something?" "Gross--you're trying to have kids, that is not anything I want to hear about." I can't believe anyone who is 33 years old is that immature to not realize that not every couple can get pregnant the second they want to. I know I shouldn't be so invested in things he does--to mock so flippantly the couples that Joel was talking about. But it is hurtful, because, even though he didn't realize he was making fun of me, and I never told people that Michael and I were "trying" to have kids, but that was my situation until three months ago. It's just rude that he can't see other people as people who have things going on in their lives that we aren't a part of.
Harder than I Thought
So, I thought I would just LOVE to be pregnant and look pregnant. I love when other girls look pregnant--I think it's the cutest thing alive. I have always wanted to be pregnant and have a baby, and I thought I would love it. And I am glad that I'm showing. But it's so hard for me to be getting bigger. I don't feel pregnant, I just feel fat. I don't feel cute at all. I feel replusive. Maybe things will be differnent next month when I will maybe be able to start feeling the baby move, I will feel better about how big I'm getting. It doesn't help when people tell me "wow, I wasn't that big until I was 6 months pregnant." I know that I'm a lot shorter than most people, so I'm going to show a lot more because there's nowhere else for anything to go. My stomach pokes out--and has since I was about 7 weeks--and it looks noticeably bigger after I eat or drink. That's just how it is.
I'm trying really hard to not feel so negative about how fat I am because it's not like my face and neck are fat--they look just the same as ever so far--so, really, it's all just in my belly that I'm gaining all of this mass. I want to feel adorable and cute and everything, but it's just so hard. I'm excited to be pregnant, and I want to feel like I'm as cute as every other pregnant girl. Sometimes, I do, but then when I remember that under the bulge in my shirt is my skin, it makes it really hard to think that it's cute anymore--that is my body stretching and growing before your very eyes.
But every other pregnant girl is adorable. I don't know what's wrong with me that I'm not.
I'm trying really hard to not feel so negative about how fat I am because it's not like my face and neck are fat--they look just the same as ever so far--so, really, it's all just in my belly that I'm gaining all of this mass. I want to feel adorable and cute and everything, but it's just so hard. I'm excited to be pregnant, and I want to feel like I'm as cute as every other pregnant girl. Sometimes, I do, but then when I remember that under the bulge in my shirt is my skin, it makes it really hard to think that it's cute anymore--that is my body stretching and growing before your very eyes.
But every other pregnant girl is adorable. I don't know what's wrong with me that I'm not.
A New Experience
So, as I move into my second trimester, I was really excited to not feel so sick anymore and have a little more energy. That is a little true. I have more energy--but it totally comes in tiny spurts. I'll be like running around one moment, and then the next, I'll lie on the floor and take a little nap. It's kind of funny.
Now, instead of being totally nauseated all day every day, I am suffering from the worst indigestion known to man. Even when I eat a small bowl of soup, it's like I'm eating huge rocks that sit in my stomach and slowly make their way through my digestive system. I hate having such an upset stomach all day long. It makes me almost miss the nausea. I'm hoping this goes away soon because it is the worst thing ever.
But it's only just started. I haven't even had to suffer through this for a whole week yet, so I guess wishing it away right now is a little premature. And maybe now I won't have to eat so much? It's a thought.
Now, instead of being totally nauseated all day every day, I am suffering from the worst indigestion known to man. Even when I eat a small bowl of soup, it's like I'm eating huge rocks that sit in my stomach and slowly make their way through my digestive system. I hate having such an upset stomach all day long. It makes me almost miss the nausea. I'm hoping this goes away soon because it is the worst thing ever.
But it's only just started. I haven't even had to suffer through this for a whole week yet, so I guess wishing it away right now is a little premature. And maybe now I won't have to eat so much? It's a thought.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Week 13 Already
So, this is a little late again. It's hard for me to always be on top of a weekly post, which is fine--and totally understandable because of how tired/sick I have been forever.
I'm getting bigger all the time. I have gained about 7-8 inches around my waist already, which is totally unbelievable to me. How can that be? It really is unbelievable, but our sweet little baby is 3 whole inches long now! How cute is that? And he's waving his little hands at us, I just know it.
We go to our next appointment with the midwife a week from today, and I just can't wait. It's going to be great (unless something bad happens and something is wrong--then I will be devastated for the rest of my life).
Sorry, no picture this week. You'll just have to wait until next week.
I'm getting bigger all the time. I have gained about 7-8 inches around my waist already, which is totally unbelievable to me. How can that be? It really is unbelievable, but our sweet little baby is 3 whole inches long now! How cute is that? And he's waving his little hands at us, I just know it.
We go to our next appointment with the midwife a week from today, and I just can't wait. It's going to be great (unless something bad happens and something is wrong--then I will be devastated for the rest of my life).
Sorry, no picture this week. You'll just have to wait until next week.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Same Old Thing
Okay. Feeling so sick, tired, nauseated, etc is really getting old and I'm ready to move on to just being big and dizzy--but all of it at once is too much.
I think it's as funny as the next guy that I can't push my chair in all the way anymore when I'm sitting in it at work without totally squishing my huge belly. And it's hilarious that I get so dizzy I could just fall down if I stand up too fast. And it's nice to remember to drink water because my throat is always parched. And it's laughable that my back hurts so badly and lying down doesn't help, sitting doesn't help, standing doesn't help--there is nothing I can do to make it feel better. And it is really a great joke to be so nauseated all the time that I don't want to eat but the only thing that will alleviate some of that (never all of it, of course) is eating. That is really the funniest part. But enough is enough. It's fine that I can only do one thing every afternoon when I get home from work--and that is usually talking to my mom on the phone for 20 minutes or maybe cooking something for lunch the next day. But I haven't cleaned anything, worked on my knitting, watched a full-length movie, or anything for what seems like months. Or I've watched one or two movies in the last three months.
And I'm so tired.
And that is how I really feel.
The end.
I think it's as funny as the next guy that I can't push my chair in all the way anymore when I'm sitting in it at work without totally squishing my huge belly. And it's hilarious that I get so dizzy I could just fall down if I stand up too fast. And it's nice to remember to drink water because my throat is always parched. And it's laughable that my back hurts so badly and lying down doesn't help, sitting doesn't help, standing doesn't help--there is nothing I can do to make it feel better. And it is really a great joke to be so nauseated all the time that I don't want to eat but the only thing that will alleviate some of that (never all of it, of course) is eating. That is really the funniest part. But enough is enough. It's fine that I can only do one thing every afternoon when I get home from work--and that is usually talking to my mom on the phone for 20 minutes or maybe cooking something for lunch the next day. But I haven't cleaned anything, worked on my knitting, watched a full-length movie, or anything for what seems like months. Or I've watched one or two movies in the last three months.
And I'm so tired.
And that is how I really feel.
The end.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Halloween 2009
Dressing up for Halloween is really fun since everyone in the "office" participates--and this year was great. I had a wonderful costume that involved a big white sheet, white face paint, and a little baby ghostie. I safety pinned a baby ghostie to the belly of my ghost costume to let little Pat Shea join in the fun of Halloween with everyone else. It was pretty gross and creepy, which made it so fitting for all of us--it was the best thing I could do that didn't involve painting my naked belly (which I would NEVER do, because ew).
One nice thing is that, while my white sheet is getting dirtier and dirtier and making my pants so dirty all day, you have no idea how big my belly is.
Halloween is great, not just because we eat treats all day at work and watch Haunting episodes and have Halloween Power Hours all month, but it's also Crystal's birthday--Happy Birthday, Crystal!
And I am totally sugared out. I can't wait to go home and take a nap.
One nice thing is that, while my white sheet is getting dirtier and dirtier and making my pants so dirty all day, you have no idea how big my belly is.
Halloween is great, not just because we eat treats all day at work and watch Haunting episodes and have Halloween Power Hours all month, but it's also Crystal's birthday--Happy Birthday, Crystal!
And I am totally sugared out. I can't wait to go home and take a nap.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Week 12
So here we are, and I am HUGE. I didn't realize how big I am until I saw the picture Crystal posted of me at the Patrick Byrne Private Event/Wallflowers concert Friday night.
And then there is the obligatory picture.
Enjoy.
And then there is the obligatory picture.
Enjoy.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Still Sick with a New Twist
*******WARNING: NOT FOR EMILY*********
So, this morning, as I was brushing my teeth, the inevitable happened. I've had a really hard time brushing my teeth and doing a good job because of my gag reflex (I've done as well as I could manage, but today it was just too much for me). I wasn't feeling super well, and I ate delicious oatmeal that I put blueberries and milk and wheat germ in for breakfast, but I wanted a sweet treat, so I also made some delicious cocoa. Something was too much for me--I really hope it wasn't the cocoa because it was such a tiny pleasure.
But I threw it all up in the sink while I was in the middle of brushing my teeth. All of it. And the funny thing was, just as I had been hoping and suspecting and wishing, I felt so much better after that was over. I just knew it! For months I've been incredibly sick and just wishing I could throw up, even though that is the least appealing thing on earth, I was so envious of the girls who could just puke when they felt so sick. And it was everything I hoped it would be. I felt better, more energized, and so much less sick.
So, here I am at work, dreading the moment I get hungry because I don't know what is going to happen, but I'm feeling a little better as long as I'm not eating. This is the longest I've been at work without eating in a very long time. But I am drinking some water, which is helping to calm my stomach. And I have three different kinds of soup, depending on what I think I'll be able to handle. I'm hoping I can eat that delicious hot and sour soup I made. That was nice, easy, fun, and delicious. But not to my mind right now.
I hate not being able to enjoy the thought of food! The nausea is supposed to be waning (from everything I've read), but it's just not--it's here with full force, back to how I was before I started feeling a little better--back to all of the scents in the office killing me, back to even the thought of food making me want to die. Someday. Someday. Someday. I'll be a normal person again who can talk about food 24 hours a day, like I always do. I can't wait--but I keep having to be reminded that all of this is worth it and it's the sign of a good, healthy pregnancy. And in about 6 1/2 months, we'll have a little baby. Won't that be fun? Right now, I just can't see it.
So, this morning, as I was brushing my teeth, the inevitable happened. I've had a really hard time brushing my teeth and doing a good job because of my gag reflex (I've done as well as I could manage, but today it was just too much for me). I wasn't feeling super well, and I ate delicious oatmeal that I put blueberries and milk and wheat germ in for breakfast, but I wanted a sweet treat, so I also made some delicious cocoa. Something was too much for me--I really hope it wasn't the cocoa because it was such a tiny pleasure.
But I threw it all up in the sink while I was in the middle of brushing my teeth. All of it. And the funny thing was, just as I had been hoping and suspecting and wishing, I felt so much better after that was over. I just knew it! For months I've been incredibly sick and just wishing I could throw up, even though that is the least appealing thing on earth, I was so envious of the girls who could just puke when they felt so sick. And it was everything I hoped it would be. I felt better, more energized, and so much less sick.
So, here I am at work, dreading the moment I get hungry because I don't know what is going to happen, but I'm feeling a little better as long as I'm not eating. This is the longest I've been at work without eating in a very long time. But I am drinking some water, which is helping to calm my stomach. And I have three different kinds of soup, depending on what I think I'll be able to handle. I'm hoping I can eat that delicious hot and sour soup I made. That was nice, easy, fun, and delicious. But not to my mind right now.
I hate not being able to enjoy the thought of food! The nausea is supposed to be waning (from everything I've read), but it's just not--it's here with full force, back to how I was before I started feeling a little better--back to all of the scents in the office killing me, back to even the thought of food making me want to die. Someday. Someday. Someday. I'll be a normal person again who can talk about food 24 hours a day, like I always do. I can't wait--but I keep having to be reminded that all of this is worth it and it's the sign of a good, healthy pregnancy. And in about 6 1/2 months, we'll have a little baby. Won't that be fun? Right now, I just can't see it.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Horrific Dream
Hooray! I've totally caught up and can now just post things as I write them. That will be fun.
So, last night I had a horrible dream and I totally blame Joel because he sent around the video at work yesterday with those HUGE tarantula spiders. So in my dream, there were two incredibly huge tarantulas in our apartment and Michael wanted to save them for some stupid reason. I hated them and was screaming and just wanted them to go away. But then they turned into super adorable hyena-looking puppies--I'm not exactly sure what they were, but they were cute, little furry, cudly animals that normal people would want for a pet. So I thought, maybe we could keep them, but then I remembered that we have a baby on the way and now is not the time to be getting pets. But then they turned back into tarantulas and I hated them again. They were awful and huge and scary. Then, in my dream, I went to bed. I woke up and the spiders were walking into my bedroom--it was awful. I screamed for Michael to help me, and he did finally come, but he took forever. In the meantime, they turned back into the sweet pups. Then they turned back into tarantulas and jumped on my bed. That was the worst part, but then Michael finally got there and picked them up with paper towels and disposed of them forever. My hero.
Stupid Joel. Doesn't he know that my dreams are so real and vivid and he should NEVER do that to a pregnant girl? It was absolutely terrifying.
So, last night I had a horrible dream and I totally blame Joel because he sent around the video at work yesterday with those HUGE tarantula spiders. So in my dream, there were two incredibly huge tarantulas in our apartment and Michael wanted to save them for some stupid reason. I hated them and was screaming and just wanted them to go away. But then they turned into super adorable hyena-looking puppies--I'm not exactly sure what they were, but they were cute, little furry, cudly animals that normal people would want for a pet. So I thought, maybe we could keep them, but then I remembered that we have a baby on the way and now is not the time to be getting pets. But then they turned back into tarantulas and I hated them again. They were awful and huge and scary. Then, in my dream, I went to bed. I woke up and the spiders were walking into my bedroom--it was awful. I screamed for Michael to help me, and he did finally come, but he took forever. In the meantime, they turned back into the sweet pups. Then they turned back into tarantulas and jumped on my bed. That was the worst part, but then Michael finally got there and picked them up with paper towels and disposed of them forever. My hero.
Stupid Joel. Doesn't he know that my dreams are so real and vivid and he should NEVER do that to a pregnant girl? It was absolutely terrifying.
Back to Sick
October 22, 2009
Don't worry. The nausea is still alive and kicking. I was so excited to just be able to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, but that will not be the case forever, it feels like. This morning, I was totally fine until I walked out of the door this morning. As I walked up the stairs, I started feeling so sick I debated just going right back inside. But I walked to Emily's house instead of just going back to bed. So now I'm at work today, suffering through intense bouts of nausea to have those small moments where it seems totally fine to eat a Crystal Stick--and I've eaten two today, so I can't be doing too badly.
I brought some delicious eggs with cheese, celery, and red peppers for lunch today, but I just can't make myself eat it. I guess I shouldn't gain as much weight as I've been gaining, because I'm already so incredibly huge, so I guess it's fine. Eating delicious food all the time is totally overrated, anyway. (But I don't really believe that--because I live for delicious food).
All of the nausea is supposed to be gone by the end of the month for sure, so that is really nice. I can only hope it's for real. Even if I can't just eat whatever I want whenever I want, it'll be so nice to at least not want to die instead of eat anything. Once or twice a day, I try really hard to force myself to eat something just because I should and not just because I can eat it. It's working pretty well.
Except, I can't eat salad anymore, no matter how much I try, which is really sad. I ate salad every day for over two weeks, and now I just can't do it. But I can't eat treats very well, either. I'm slowly easing into it, but it's really hard because I usually just want to eat treats. Now I eat healthful snacks and meals. But it's nice to eat a little treat after a meal. Meals are nice, too.
Don't worry. The nausea is still alive and kicking. I was so excited to just be able to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, but that will not be the case forever, it feels like. This morning, I was totally fine until I walked out of the door this morning. As I walked up the stairs, I started feeling so sick I debated just going right back inside. But I walked to Emily's house instead of just going back to bed. So now I'm at work today, suffering through intense bouts of nausea to have those small moments where it seems totally fine to eat a Crystal Stick--and I've eaten two today, so I can't be doing too badly.
I brought some delicious eggs with cheese, celery, and red peppers for lunch today, but I just can't make myself eat it. I guess I shouldn't gain as much weight as I've been gaining, because I'm already so incredibly huge, so I guess it's fine. Eating delicious food all the time is totally overrated, anyway. (But I don't really believe that--because I live for delicious food).
All of the nausea is supposed to be gone by the end of the month for sure, so that is really nice. I can only hope it's for real. Even if I can't just eat whatever I want whenever I want, it'll be so nice to at least not want to die instead of eat anything. Once or twice a day, I try really hard to force myself to eat something just because I should and not just because I can eat it. It's working pretty well.
Except, I can't eat salad anymore, no matter how much I try, which is really sad. I ate salad every day for over two weeks, and now I just can't do it. But I can't eat treats very well, either. I'm slowly easing into it, but it's really hard because I usually just want to eat treats. Now I eat healthful snacks and meals. But it's nice to eat a little treat after a meal. Meals are nice, too.
My Skin These Days
October 21
So, for the last few weeks, my skin has been SO greasy and oily and lame. I wash my face in the morning, and by the time I get home, I just feel like I haven't washed my face in weeks. It's really sad and a little pathetic.
I think that my face is getting past the really broken-out phase and I'm just in the super oily phase, which is different and probably better, but not ideal. I'm so shiny all the time. But I worry about washing my face too much because what if my skin gets so dry I break out again (even more)--that would be devastating.
My skin is totally changing, but it's nice that I didn't have to suffer through my usual super-dry-skin-every-day in August and September. It's so nice to not have to pull out my face lotion 20 times a day at work. Occasionally (like once a month or maybe twice) I'll use my eye lotion, but that is it. It's been really nice.
Except that my hair is greasier than before, too. Oh, well. More washing clothes and washing me for the next months and months.
So, for the last few weeks, my skin has been SO greasy and oily and lame. I wash my face in the morning, and by the time I get home, I just feel like I haven't washed my face in weeks. It's really sad and a little pathetic.
I think that my face is getting past the really broken-out phase and I'm just in the super oily phase, which is different and probably better, but not ideal. I'm so shiny all the time. But I worry about washing my face too much because what if my skin gets so dry I break out again (even more)--that would be devastating.
My skin is totally changing, but it's nice that I didn't have to suffer through my usual super-dry-skin-every-day in August and September. It's so nice to not have to pull out my face lotion 20 times a day at work. Occasionally (like once a month or maybe twice) I'll use my eye lotion, but that is it. It's been really nice.
Except that my hair is greasier than before, too. Oh, well. More washing clothes and washing me for the next months and months.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Week 11 Begins
October 20, 2009
Wow. This is the craziest thought ever. Our sweet little baby is two inches long and is getting little hair follicles! He is just too cute. I can't wait to hug him!
I've sort of been dabbling in taking my measurements, just to see how things are going, and I just can't believe how big I'm getting already. I've gained about 7 inches around my waist and an inch and a half on my hips--which is crazy. My hips did get so unbelievably sore until I started using a leg pillow (which was long forgotten under my bed because it's impossible to cuddle with a huge pillow in the way). But it's back and now my hips aren't sore anymore. It's funny to think that I may come out of this with a more womanly figure. Ha! I've always tried to embrace by boyish hips and I never minded that clothes fit strangely because I didn't have hips. But will that change forever or just for the next 8-10 months-ish? What an adventure I'm embarking on! And I can't wait.
There will be a picture this week--again, sorry for last week, but it's really not THAT big of a deal to miss one little week. When I measured Monday morning, I had only gained about half an inch in the last week, so just pretend this picture is the one for last week, too, and it'll be fine.
(Oopsie--I posted the wrong picture. This was week 9's. But now it's week 11's.)
Wow. This is the craziest thought ever. Our sweet little baby is two inches long and is getting little hair follicles! He is just too cute. I can't wait to hug him!
I've sort of been dabbling in taking my measurements, just to see how things are going, and I just can't believe how big I'm getting already. I've gained about 7 inches around my waist and an inch and a half on my hips--which is crazy. My hips did get so unbelievably sore until I started using a leg pillow (which was long forgotten under my bed because it's impossible to cuddle with a huge pillow in the way). But it's back and now my hips aren't sore anymore. It's funny to think that I may come out of this with a more womanly figure. Ha! I've always tried to embrace by boyish hips and I never minded that clothes fit strangely because I didn't have hips. But will that change forever or just for the next 8-10 months-ish? What an adventure I'm embarking on! And I can't wait.
There will be a picture this week--again, sorry for last week, but it's really not THAT big of a deal to miss one little week. When I measured Monday morning, I had only gained about half an inch in the last week, so just pretend this picture is the one for last week, too, and it'll be fine.
(Oopsie--I posted the wrong picture. This was week 9's. But now it's week 11's.)
The End of Nausea?
October 18, 2009
Slowly, it seems the nausea is subsiding. It's strange. A couple days ago, I woke up and didn't wish I could just die, even though I hadn't eaten anything for about 10 hours. But I am still nauseated by lotion smells. It was about a week ago that I could start to smell different foods without wanting to die. That was amazing. There are still some foods that make me sick, though, but I'm pretty sure it's just the foods I didn't like the smell of before. But today, I wake up and I'm hungry and I have to go potty and I'm so hungry because I haven't eaten in 12 hours so I'm feeling a bit sick, but it's nothing I can't handle. It's not an overpowering nausea that deters me from eating any and all food--it's an aching hunger so eating seems the natural solution (unlike that stupid all-day morning sickness where food is the only thing that helps but is the most repulsive thing on earth). It feels great.
If only I could find something appetizing.
That's the strange thing. I used to only want to eat the same thing every day for months--spaghetti, curry, different types of Indian foods, soup and sandwiches, or whatever. And then I would make it and eat it for months and then change to a new thing. But now, I find it really hard to eat the same thing twice in a row. I made amazing blueberry pandacakes yesterday for breakfast and they were SO good, but I feel so sick of them. I've been trying to make smaller portions of things--going with recipes that make 4 servings (or say they do) instead of my usual 10. But what a recipe says is 4 servings, I've learned is really closer to 6 or 7, and when a recipe says that it makes 12 pandacakes dropped from a 1/4-cup measuring cup, it really means 18, so everyone is a big, fat liar. But Michael has been better about eating leftovers than he's ever been, so we haven't had to throw anything away yet, which is nice.
But I'm hungry now, so I really should eat a little snack so I can eat again before church so I won't have to pop Quaker Oatmeal Squares all through church again this week--I feel bad (especially because I'm still trying to hide it from everyone even though I am CLEARLY in maternity clothes and there is really no doubt about my condition--adorable, huh?
Slowly, it seems the nausea is subsiding. It's strange. A couple days ago, I woke up and didn't wish I could just die, even though I hadn't eaten anything for about 10 hours. But I am still nauseated by lotion smells. It was about a week ago that I could start to smell different foods without wanting to die. That was amazing. There are still some foods that make me sick, though, but I'm pretty sure it's just the foods I didn't like the smell of before. But today, I wake up and I'm hungry and I have to go potty and I'm so hungry because I haven't eaten in 12 hours so I'm feeling a bit sick, but it's nothing I can't handle. It's not an overpowering nausea that deters me from eating any and all food--it's an aching hunger so eating seems the natural solution (unlike that stupid all-day morning sickness where food is the only thing that helps but is the most repulsive thing on earth). It feels great.
If only I could find something appetizing.
That's the strange thing. I used to only want to eat the same thing every day for months--spaghetti, curry, different types of Indian foods, soup and sandwiches, or whatever. And then I would make it and eat it for months and then change to a new thing. But now, I find it really hard to eat the same thing twice in a row. I made amazing blueberry pandacakes yesterday for breakfast and they were SO good, but I feel so sick of them. I've been trying to make smaller portions of things--going with recipes that make 4 servings (or say they do) instead of my usual 10. But what a recipe says is 4 servings, I've learned is really closer to 6 or 7, and when a recipe says that it makes 12 pandacakes dropped from a 1/4-cup measuring cup, it really means 18, so everyone is a big, fat liar. But Michael has been better about eating leftovers than he's ever been, so we haven't had to throw anything away yet, which is nice.
But I'm hungry now, so I really should eat a little snack so I can eat again before church so I won't have to pop Quaker Oatmeal Squares all through church again this week--I feel bad (especially because I'm still trying to hide it from everyone even though I am CLEARLY in maternity clothes and there is really no doubt about my condition--adorable, huh?
The First Real Appointment
October 15, 2009
First, sorry to miss the week 10 picture--there is a lot more to see, obviously, but Michael's and my schedules have been such that he hasn't been able to take the picture, and that is the only way I want it.
So, today was our first real appointment with the midwife. She is wonderful! And adorable! And a really sweet (and so skinny!) motherly--and heading towards grandmotherly--figure. But Cheryl didn't introduce herself to us when we went back to start the appointment, which was a little unsettling for me, but maybe she already figured we were all friends already. I don't know. But Margy is just too cute. And she is super sweet and so helpful. She spent quite awhile with us, so it seemed to me, at least. And she would just stop and answer all of my lame questions (and the not-so-lame ones, too). What a great experience we had.
Then there was the baby's heartbeat. She went to find the baby's heartbeat, and I started freaking out because it seemed like it took her forever to find it. It was just my heartbeat (which was kind of racing, so she had to make sure it was mine and not a REALLY slow baby's heartbeat--but I was so nervous it wouldn't be there). But the good news is that the baby didn't disappear! His little heartbeat sounds like the shhhhing of a train, so sweet. Margy said she predicted the baby will be a girl--and she's right 51-percent of the time. We'll see. I'm sticking with the generic masculine "he" until we know for sure. And that could be as early as December 22! Hooray!
I feel like I made the right decision--which is a wonderful thing. She told me that Gayle was joking with her that Michael and I must have conceived on the way home, but Margy's calculations are with ours--the one or two days before the appointment is when it all came together. Which is awesome. She said that this has happened to Gayle before (not quite so fast, though), but, apparently Gayle is known as a miracle worker who doesn't have to do any work--like you schedule the appointment and then you just end up pregnant. Bless her heart! I'm glad I made the right choice there, too.
All in all, a wonderful day, full of great things, but no delicious treats, because my tummy is SO upset.
First, sorry to miss the week 10 picture--there is a lot more to see, obviously, but Michael's and my schedules have been such that he hasn't been able to take the picture, and that is the only way I want it.
So, today was our first real appointment with the midwife. She is wonderful! And adorable! And a really sweet (and so skinny!) motherly--and heading towards grandmotherly--figure. But Cheryl didn't introduce herself to us when we went back to start the appointment, which was a little unsettling for me, but maybe she already figured we were all friends already. I don't know. But Margy is just too cute. And she is super sweet and so helpful. She spent quite awhile with us, so it seemed to me, at least. And she would just stop and answer all of my lame questions (and the not-so-lame ones, too). What a great experience we had.
Then there was the baby's heartbeat. She went to find the baby's heartbeat, and I started freaking out because it seemed like it took her forever to find it. It was just my heartbeat (which was kind of racing, so she had to make sure it was mine and not a REALLY slow baby's heartbeat--but I was so nervous it wouldn't be there). But the good news is that the baby didn't disappear! His little heartbeat sounds like the shhhhing of a train, so sweet. Margy said she predicted the baby will be a girl--and she's right 51-percent of the time. We'll see. I'm sticking with the generic masculine "he" until we know for sure. And that could be as early as December 22! Hooray!
I feel like I made the right decision--which is a wonderful thing. She told me that Gayle was joking with her that Michael and I must have conceived on the way home, but Margy's calculations are with ours--the one or two days before the appointment is when it all came together. Which is awesome. She said that this has happened to Gayle before (not quite so fast, though), but, apparently Gayle is known as a miracle worker who doesn't have to do any work--like you schedule the appointment and then you just end up pregnant. Bless her heart! I'm glad I made the right choice there, too.
All in all, a wonderful day, full of great things, but no delicious treats, because my tummy is SO upset.
What's New
October 10, 2009
I cannot remember how it feels to not be completely sick to my stomach. Eating doesn't entirely alleviate the horrific nausea. I honestly don't remember what being healthy feels like. It's strange, isn't it? I mean, I haven't even been pregnant for 10 weeks even, so I've only been sick for about six weeks now, but I can't remember what it feels like to be able to eat what I want, not want to vomit all the time, not be so huge, not have every part of my body hurt and ache, not be so incredibly tired I can't stay up for three hours after work, not hate every scent I smell (whether or not I liked it before I was pregnant--now I just can't handle any lotion, perfume, or other artificial fragrance), and so on and on. The crazy thing is that now, many food smells don't bother me so much any more, which is awesome, because for a couple of weeks there, I thought I would have to quit my job--between the endless lotion and food smells permeating the office--but now, I rest assured I won't always feel like this. I just can't imagine what it feels like to be a normal person. But I can't wait to rediscover it!
I cannot remember how it feels to not be completely sick to my stomach. Eating doesn't entirely alleviate the horrific nausea. I honestly don't remember what being healthy feels like. It's strange, isn't it? I mean, I haven't even been pregnant for 10 weeks even, so I've only been sick for about six weeks now, but I can't remember what it feels like to be able to eat what I want, not want to vomit all the time, not be so huge, not have every part of my body hurt and ache, not be so incredibly tired I can't stay up for three hours after work, not hate every scent I smell (whether or not I liked it before I was pregnant--now I just can't handle any lotion, perfume, or other artificial fragrance), and so on and on. The crazy thing is that now, many food smells don't bother me so much any more, which is awesome, because for a couple of weeks there, I thought I would have to quit my job--between the endless lotion and food smells permeating the office--but now, I rest assured I won't always feel like this. I just can't imagine what it feels like to be a normal person. But I can't wait to rediscover it!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Crazy Dreams
10/9/09
So, two nights ago, I had the strangest dream. It was in my first session of nightly sleep, the one before I wake up and make sure Michael is home and ready for bed. I dreamt that I had the baby--he was a boy, and we named him what we planned--and I was still pregnant. Then, like two weeks later, we had another baby boy and we waffled about his name. The birth was so fast that I had him at home all by myself, but it wasn't bad. It was actually really easy (wishful thinking?). Then I wrapped up the baby and put him in a clothes basket, because we still hadn't gotten a crib yet. I hadn't paid any attention at all to the older baby because I was still so preoccupied with being pregnant. And, after the second one was born, I thought that maybe it was time to go to the hospital, and, because Michael had already gotten home, we debated going to the emergency room or where we should go.
It was a really strange dream, and when I woke up and told Michael about it, he was certain I thought it was an omen that we're having twins. He looked at me kind of gravely and said, "So, you think we're having twins, then?" And I had to explain to him it was just a dream and that a lot of fears were at play here--being alone when I have the baby, not having a crib for him (or her!), having twins, not necessarily any of which will really happen. I hope none of that happens.
I really enjoy having very vivid dreams. And pregnancy dreams all revolve around the baby, for the most part.
I also had a dream later that night, in my last session of sleep, that Cathy's (Cathy is the really nice girl who lives upstairs) dog Abby died. We didn't know for weeks, but we hadn't heard her, so we asked Cathy how Abby was doing. It was the saddest moment ever. Abby means the world to Cathy and she is a really nice dog. Why would I have such a mean dream? It makes me feel really bad. I don't want to ever tell Cathy that I had such a horrible dream about her sweet puppy. Don't tell Cathy! She is so nice and I love Abby, even when she wakes me up in the middle of the night.
So, two nights ago, I had the strangest dream. It was in my first session of nightly sleep, the one before I wake up and make sure Michael is home and ready for bed. I dreamt that I had the baby--he was a boy, and we named him what we planned--and I was still pregnant. Then, like two weeks later, we had another baby boy and we waffled about his name. The birth was so fast that I had him at home all by myself, but it wasn't bad. It was actually really easy (wishful thinking?). Then I wrapped up the baby and put him in a clothes basket, because we still hadn't gotten a crib yet. I hadn't paid any attention at all to the older baby because I was still so preoccupied with being pregnant. And, after the second one was born, I thought that maybe it was time to go to the hospital, and, because Michael had already gotten home, we debated going to the emergency room or where we should go.
It was a really strange dream, and when I woke up and told Michael about it, he was certain I thought it was an omen that we're having twins. He looked at me kind of gravely and said, "So, you think we're having twins, then?" And I had to explain to him it was just a dream and that a lot of fears were at play here--being alone when I have the baby, not having a crib for him (or her!), having twins, not necessarily any of which will really happen. I hope none of that happens.
I really enjoy having very vivid dreams. And pregnancy dreams all revolve around the baby, for the most part.
I also had a dream later that night, in my last session of sleep, that Cathy's (Cathy is the really nice girl who lives upstairs) dog Abby died. We didn't know for weeks, but we hadn't heard her, so we asked Cathy how Abby was doing. It was the saddest moment ever. Abby means the world to Cathy and she is a really nice dog. Why would I have such a mean dream? It makes me feel really bad. I don't want to ever tell Cathy that I had such a horrible dream about her sweet puppy. Don't tell Cathy! She is so nice and I love Abby, even when she wakes me up in the middle of the night.
Week 9
October 6, 2009
So, we're officially at week 9. I can't believe it's only been 9 weeks--only three since we found out ourselves. I'm incredibly huge! I don't necessarily feel pregnant, though, except for my huge belly, so it's easy to forget or think that maybe the baby disappeared and I'm just getting really fat.
But I am getting really excited. It's funny that I am already in maternity clothes--well, shirts, anyway, because my pants are so big and sit so low anyway I will probably wear them for months--which is a blessing for out budget. It amazes me that my belly can be so big when the baby is still so tiny and I can't even feel him (or her).
But here is the picture of me at 9 weeks (taken a day late because I forgot to have Michael do it before he left for work on Tuesday). How does it compare to last week?
So, we're officially at week 9. I can't believe it's only been 9 weeks--only three since we found out ourselves. I'm incredibly huge! I don't necessarily feel pregnant, though, except for my huge belly, so it's easy to forget or think that maybe the baby disappeared and I'm just getting really fat.
But I am getting really excited. It's funny that I am already in maternity clothes--well, shirts, anyway, because my pants are so big and sit so low anyway I will probably wear them for months--which is a blessing for out budget. It amazes me that my belly can be so big when the baby is still so tiny and I can't even feel him (or her).
But here is the picture of me at 9 weeks (taken a day late because I forgot to have Michael do it before he left for work on Tuesday). How does it compare to last week?
The Big Announcement (Preface)
October 2, 2009
Monday, I'm going to make the big announcement at work, and I am so excited I just can't stand it.
It's going to be cute. I'm just going to make a quick batch of shortbread cookies with pink and blue frosting and have a word scramble that will spell out "Amanda is having a baby." It's going to be so adorable. That is for the kids in my office. For my friends who have been banished up to Corporate, I'm going to send an email that has a picture of me + a picture of Michael = a picture of a baby. I think it's totally an adorable idea. I can't wait to actually do it. It's going to be really fun.
Monday, I'm going to make the big announcement at work, and I am so excited I just can't stand it.
It's going to be cute. I'm just going to make a quick batch of shortbread cookies with pink and blue frosting and have a word scramble that will spell out "Amanda is having a baby." It's going to be so adorable. That is for the kids in my office. For my friends who have been banished up to Corporate, I'm going to send an email that has a picture of me + a picture of Michael = a picture of a baby. I think it's totally an adorable idea. I can't wait to actually do it. It's going to be really fun.
8 Weeks Already
October 2, 2009
So, I'm now entering my 9th week of pregnancy. The waiting for the first real appointment is killing me. I can't believe it's still two weeks away. In the meantime, I'm left alone with my crazy fears. The one I just can't shake is the same one I had when I went for the ultrasound--that the baby won't be there. Except that, unlike the ultrasound, I fear the baby will somehow vaporize, or disintegrate, or otherwise disappear, because we have the adorable picture of the peanut baby on the fridge right now. So I know that the baby did exist at one point. But every moment that I'm not totally sick to my stomach, I get so nervous that I'm not pregnant anymore and the baby disappeared. Michael keeps insisting to me that is the absolute last thing that would ever happen and it isn't even the realm of possibility. But I can't stop fearing it.
This morning, I woke up and didn't feel fat and pregnant anymore, and I freaked out until I looked in the mirror and saw that the belly is still there. That is comforting. I love that my belly is already getting so big.
Here's a great picture of me right after I got home from work and right before I had to take a nap. It's taken exactly at 8 weeks, going into the 9th week. I'm not joking--I'm huge (and it's not bloating, I promise--I haven't been bloated for weeks now).
So, I'm now entering my 9th week of pregnancy. The waiting for the first real appointment is killing me. I can't believe it's still two weeks away. In the meantime, I'm left alone with my crazy fears. The one I just can't shake is the same one I had when I went for the ultrasound--that the baby won't be there. Except that, unlike the ultrasound, I fear the baby will somehow vaporize, or disintegrate, or otherwise disappear, because we have the adorable picture of the peanut baby on the fridge right now. So I know that the baby did exist at one point. But every moment that I'm not totally sick to my stomach, I get so nervous that I'm not pregnant anymore and the baby disappeared. Michael keeps insisting to me that is the absolute last thing that would ever happen and it isn't even the realm of possibility. But I can't stop fearing it.
This morning, I woke up and didn't feel fat and pregnant anymore, and I freaked out until I looked in the mirror and saw that the belly is still there. That is comforting. I love that my belly is already getting so big.
Here's a great picture of me right after I got home from work and right before I had to take a nap. It's taken exactly at 8 weeks, going into the 9th week. I'm not joking--I'm huge (and it's not bloating, I promise--I haven't been bloated for weeks now).
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
The Trial of My Faith
It has been a really long road, and I am pleasantly surprised to be pregnant so soon--I didn't think it would happen for at least a year, but I am just so grateful. Now that the wait is over, it's easier to talk about how incredibly hard it's been for me to have to wait this long--and, really, it's only three years, so it's not really that long--but it has been so hard to want something so badly that I feel like I will never have. It was hard to see everyone I know having babies like it wasn't a big deal, while I have been praying and yearning for one for years--really before I got married, even (because I'm getting so old). After years of trying and not wanting to consult with anyone about it, I kept pushing away the idea of getting help from a specialist. I kept getting the nudging feeling and the thought came into my head that this is just a trial of my faith--how far was I willing to go for this? How much did I really want it? So, finally, I made the appointment. And I went to the appointment. And then we started working on doing things to help me get pregnant. Finally, I was just too sick to deal with it anymore and took another pregnancy test. I don't know why I did that--except that I kept feeling that I should--but I am glad that I did. But then I had to take another one because I couldn't believe it. After taking dozens of pregnancy tests over the last couple years, I couldn't fathom seeing a positive result.
After the ultrasound, we did the math back to find the date of conception (which is about 2 weeks after they start counting) and it was the date I went to that appointment. That is when Michael finally believed me that it was my faith that was lacking and I just needed to act on it for good things to happen. But we're having a baby.
I cannot express my joy at knowing that I will have my own baby in such a short amount of time. How does anyone get ready for a baby with such short notice? But I'm just so happy, and I know that after the trial of my faith, everything is just perfect. We're having a baby and starting the family I always wanted to have. My own baby, well Michael's and my own baby. It's a magnificent thought. How did this happen? I thought it would surely take longer for it all to come together, but I always knew I would have my first baby at 30, just like I always knew but never wanted to believe that I would get married at 26. It's just how it goes. And I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's kind of strange/crazy/lame that I look at it this way, sure. But it's also totally miraculous that it happened at all, and so close to the day where I actually did something instead of just pray and wish and hope.
After the ultrasound, we did the math back to find the date of conception (which is about 2 weeks after they start counting) and it was the date I went to that appointment. That is when Michael finally believed me that it was my faith that was lacking and I just needed to act on it for good things to happen. But we're having a baby.
I cannot express my joy at knowing that I will have my own baby in such a short amount of time. How does anyone get ready for a baby with such short notice? But I'm just so happy, and I know that after the trial of my faith, everything is just perfect. We're having a baby and starting the family I always wanted to have. My own baby, well Michael's and my own baby. It's a magnificent thought. How did this happen? I thought it would surely take longer for it all to come together, but I always knew I would have my first baby at 30, just like I always knew but never wanted to believe that I would get married at 26. It's just how it goes. And I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's kind of strange/crazy/lame that I look at it this way, sure. But it's also totally miraculous that it happened at all, and so close to the day where I actually did something instead of just pray and wish and hope.
Our First Ultrasound
September 22, 2009
Wow. I can't believe it. On our 37-month wedding anniversary, we went to the dr for our very first ultrasound. What an experience. Because of everything that has been going on, we had no idea when we got pregnant, so we had to go for an ultrasound so they could let us know.
And we are 7 weeks today (according to the ultrasound). We got to see our sweet little baby and see the heartbeat and take a picture home with us to hang on the fridge. Our baby is due May 11. What a wonderful day. I am so excited.
I called my mom and told her first, then my dad called after he got off work and I told him. Then I called Chelsea and talked to her, and then I left a message for Joseph. But I am waiting to call Rachael because of how pushy she has been about it the whole time I've been married. So I'll call her sometime--we'll see. I have to write a note to Grandma Pauliney and Pop-Pop to let them know. We'll tell Michael's parents this weekend, hopefully. If we can't get together with his dad and Laura, we'll have to wait to tell them. But I really want to tell family before I tell any friends, but I don't know how I can keep a secret from Emily because we're carpooling now and I am just ready to burst with excitement! I want everyone to know and be happy for me and excited for the baby, too. When my dad called, he was so excited and he just said "Yes! I am so happy for you" and I could tell he was crying and it made me cry, too. Having everyone be so excited makes all of the horrific sickness seem worth it--and to see the tiny little peanut baby on the ultrasound was so unreal. I'm having a baby!
Wow. I can't believe it. On our 37-month wedding anniversary, we went to the dr for our very first ultrasound. What an experience. Because of everything that has been going on, we had no idea when we got pregnant, so we had to go for an ultrasound so they could let us know.
And we are 7 weeks today (according to the ultrasound). We got to see our sweet little baby and see the heartbeat and take a picture home with us to hang on the fridge. Our baby is due May 11. What a wonderful day. I am so excited.
I called my mom and told her first, then my dad called after he got off work and I told him. Then I called Chelsea and talked to her, and then I left a message for Joseph. But I am waiting to call Rachael because of how pushy she has been about it the whole time I've been married. So I'll call her sometime--we'll see. I have to write a note to Grandma Pauliney and Pop-Pop to let them know. We'll tell Michael's parents this weekend, hopefully. If we can't get together with his dad and Laura, we'll have to wait to tell them. But I really want to tell family before I tell any friends, but I don't know how I can keep a secret from Emily because we're carpooling now and I am just ready to burst with excitement! I want everyone to know and be happy for me and excited for the baby, too. When my dad called, he was so excited and he just said "Yes! I am so happy for you" and I could tell he was crying and it made me cry, too. Having everyone be so excited makes all of the horrific sickness seem worth it--and to see the tiny little peanut baby on the ultrasound was so unreal. I'm having a baby!
Just being sick
September 21, 2009
Having a baby still seems so unreal, except for the massive nausea I suffer all day, every day. I just can't get comfortable and I just can't get my stomach settled. I don't know what to do--every food item sounds just awful. But if I can manage to eat something, it settles my stomach for a very short moment. It's the actual putting-something-in-my-mouth that is the hard part. Even thinking about it makes me sick. And it's that awful kind of sick--like I can't even throw up, but I wish so much that I could because I know it would make me feel better. I am so sick, all I can do is whine to Michael about how my tummy hurts. It feels awful, and I just have to remember that I won't last forever and it will be totally worth it once this is over. But for now, I feel so incredibly sick. I can't even work--I go to work, sure, but while I'm there, I'm just feeling awful.
Having a baby still seems so unreal, except for the massive nausea I suffer all day, every day. I just can't get comfortable and I just can't get my stomach settled. I don't know what to do--every food item sounds just awful. But if I can manage to eat something, it settles my stomach for a very short moment. It's the actual putting-something-in-my-mouth that is the hard part. Even thinking about it makes me sick. And it's that awful kind of sick--like I can't even throw up, but I wish so much that I could because I know it would make me feel better. I am so sick, all I can do is whine to Michael about how my tummy hurts. It feels awful, and I just have to remember that I won't last forever and it will be totally worth it once this is over. But for now, I feel so incredibly sick. I can't even work--I go to work, sure, but while I'm there, I'm just feeling awful.
Worth the Wait
9/20/09
Words can't express how happy and excited I am about the future.
Today, I know that life is good and God exists and I am happy. I'm not excited with a giddy, school-girl excitement--it's a calm, quiet happiness that overflows my being, one that I can't express in words. All I can say is I am happy.
And there is no mistake.
Words can't express how happy and excited I am about the future.
Today, I know that life is good and God exists and I am happy. I'm not excited with a giddy, school-girl excitement--it's a calm, quiet happiness that overflows my being, one that I can't express in words. All I can say is I am happy.
And there is no mistake.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
So Many New Projects
So, while I have set aside my curtains, I have been slaving away on so many other projects. I've finished everyone's Christmas gifts except for Michael's, Henry's, and Chris's (except for the weaving in the ends of most of the others). That isn't bad at all. I have probably about 40 hours or so left to work on Chris's gift--I'm hoping that is all, anyway. And Michael's gifts won't all get done, but I'm learning to accept that. I do want to pick up my curtains again. I want to finish them before we move, at least, and they become obsolete.
I hate to admit it, but I am getting much too lazy to block things (I think it has to do with the fact that I don't have space anywhere for such frivolities), so I've taken to just steaming them and calling that well done. Don't tell anyone, though! So far, there isn't much of a difference between days of blocking and 15 minutes of ironing with the steam on, so, really, I don't think it's a big deal yet.
I am debating when I should put up pictures, (now that I've learned to do that!) but I'm thinking that it will be closer to Christmas.
I'm happy to be almost done, because this much knitting has really gotten to me. I'm beginning to feel old when my wrists get so tired from all of the knitting and typing at work all day. Next year, I will not be doing anything near this ambitious.
I hate to admit it, but I am getting much too lazy to block things (I think it has to do with the fact that I don't have space anywhere for such frivolities), so I've taken to just steaming them and calling that well done. Don't tell anyone, though! So far, there isn't much of a difference between days of blocking and 15 minutes of ironing with the steam on, so, really, I don't think it's a big deal yet.
I am debating when I should put up pictures, (now that I've learned to do that!) but I'm thinking that it will be closer to Christmas.
I'm happy to be almost done, because this much knitting has really gotten to me. I'm beginning to feel old when my wrists get so tired from all of the knitting and typing at work all day. Next year, I will not be doing anything near this ambitious.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Rachael's Visit
So, Rachael came to visit and she stayed for almost a week. It wasn't as bad as it could have been. We did have a lot of fun. We ate out a few times, we went to Logan to visit Joe Joe Bear, we went shopping at a ton of places (including a great consignment shop with AWESOME online reviews--and we did see the butt-ugly girl with the nasty pink extensions). We also went to the Gilgal Gardens--that was a really fun place, though much smaller than it was in my dreams.
All in all, a successful trip. I hope it isn't repeated for a while. But wow, was I impressed at how nice she was to Michael. That was crazy. In a really good way.
All in all, a successful trip. I hope it isn't repeated for a while. But wow, was I impressed at how nice she was to Michael. That was crazy. In a really good way.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
It's Finished!
I can't believe that I finished knitting my skirt. It's my very first skirt and I just love it. I have worked on it pretty much nonstop for two weeks (totally neglecting all of the other projects that I really need to work on), but it is totally worth it!
As soon as I figure out how to put pictures on here, I'll post one. It's so cute!
Guys, seriously, it is the cutest thing ever. I love it so much and it is so comfortable. I just want to wear it everywhere.
That is all I have to say about it.
Look guys! There isn't a ton of light in my apartment, so getting a good picture wasn't easy (or even possible, if you look at it), but Michael did a good job.
As soon as I figure out how to put pictures on here, I'll post one. It's so cute!
Guys, seriously, it is the cutest thing ever. I love it so much and it is so comfortable. I just want to wear it everywhere.
That is all I have to say about it.
Look guys! There isn't a ton of light in my apartment, so getting a good picture wasn't easy (or even possible, if you look at it), but Michael did a good job.
Friday, July 10, 2009
TV Update
So, I've got to take some time to catch up. I've been really busy with countless projects. My project-a-week thing (oh, right, I realized that I have to finish a project every week for the rest of the year to be able to get them all done) is going really well--I've been working on it like that for about a month and a half already. I've mostly just finished really easy projects--sewing up slipper socks and things that that are already done except for weaving in ends and things. It gives me a chance to work on huge projects (like my mother-in-law's hat/scarf set which is taking way longer than I thought because it's so intricate, but beautiful) but still finish things up.
While I've been knitting for about 40 hours or more a week, I've also had a chance to watch a ton of TV shows and things. I've watched a bunch of movies (that I can't remember right now) and a million TV shows. I finished season 3 of CSI and recently started ER season 2 (from Netflix) on Hulu, I'm watching The A-Team and I'm on season 3 of that. I watched season 1 and started 2 of Doogie Howser, MD--which is way more about sex than I remembered as a little kid. But it's really cute. I started watching One Tree Hill, which I had never heard of before, but am really enjoying. I have also started watching Conan O'Brien, but I think I'm about over that. It's funny and all, but I am just not really into it. I could be watching more episodes of The A-team. And, of course, I'm keeping up with Lie to Me (which has started over from the beginning, for some reason), The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, and patiently waiting for Lost, Friday Night Lights, and whatever else my office chooses to watch next season. When does the Office Season 5 become available on DVD? I totally want to add it to Michael's Netflix queue (which I control, too. I didn't mean to do that, it just happened, you know? Oopsie).
That is so much television. I feel kind of lame for watching so much TV, but what else can I do while I'm knitting? If I do have more knitting/craft groups, that will really cut back on my television consumption. You know, it's kind of funny how I totally don't feel like it's TV when I'm watching it on my computer--like it doesn't count. Sometimes, I can get Michael to read to me (which I totally adore) but his voice gets tired within one chapter and then I'm left to myself, and there is no way I can read and knit at the same time. But I'm having a great time with all of the knitting and the movies and the TV, so it really isn't that bad.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Knitting Night
Thursday was my very first knitting group. It was a blast. I had two friends over and we talked, ate, and had a great time.
Nina brought her husband along--she just had surgery and can't drive yet, which was fun. I really enjoyed getting to visit with him for a minute, but I was just so excited to see Nina and Lynnette again. We had a great time. It was so fun to catch up. Everything is going so well with Nina--she's so happily newly wed. Lynnette is suffering from the downturn in the economy (as are many of us), but she's got a great outlook on life still.
Lynnette and I worked on casting on and basic garter stitch. It was really fun, and next time, Nina should be able to join us. That will be great. I can't wait.
I had such a great time that I'm thinking of doing other monthly groups--girls getting together to do crafty crap. It will be the same thing I do every day, but with more human interaction. That sounds great.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Bordeaux Kettle- Hand-dyed Sock Yarn
So what that I have four unfinished projects waiting for me on the coffee table? The yarn just came in the mail today and I am so excited, I just can't wait to use it! I love the feel, I love the color, I love everything about it! So, here comes some freaking awesome socks and look out World! (if only they were for me...).
I would start making the matching tie, but I just realized that I don't have size 1 circular needles and I can't wait the insane amount of time it would take to put real clothes on and go to the store and then find them (if they have them--which usually they don't) and then come all the way home. I can't believe I took so much time to even post before using it. I am looking at it right now and taking little second-long breaks to touch it. I just love the color. I love the inconsistencies that come from the kettle-dying process. Oh, it's just gorgeous! And it feels great. I could cuddle up and sleep with it! It almost makes me want to learn to spin and dye yarn of my own...
I am so excited, I just can't stand it!
I would start making the matching tie, but I just realized that I don't have size 1 circular needles and I can't wait the insane amount of time it would take to put real clothes on and go to the store and then find them (if they have them--which usually they don't) and then come all the way home. I can't believe I took so much time to even post before using it. I am looking at it right now and taking little second-long breaks to touch it. I just love the color. I love the inconsistencies that come from the kettle-dying process. Oh, it's just gorgeous! And it feels great. I could cuddle up and sleep with it! It almost makes me want to learn to spin and dye yarn of my own...
I am so excited, I just can't stand it!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Taking a Breath
I have decided to step back from my huge curtain project for a moment so I can catch my breath. I put away the curtain panel this weekend and worked on a couple of other things. And, my, did I get a lot done! I mean, I've been working on the curtains for over two months. It is time for me to be able to work on something else, but I think my little fingers were a little too excited to work on something that actually showed progress readily.
**********Christmas Spoiler**********
I started the scarf to match the adorable hat I made for Jessica. I finished all of the knitting, too, I just have to graft the two ends together and then block it. But I am saving all of the blocking for the end, I think. I also started and finished two pair of cable slipper socks. They are adorable. I have decided to make them for everyone for Christmas next year (it will be a lot easier for me to make them for everyone and be done and able to work on other projects, too). I mean, I'll have to think of something else to do for the ones who are getting cabled slippers this year, but my projects for next year will only take about a month or so of serious knitting and then I'll be able to work on the charity project my family is doing.
This year, I am just having to work way too much on Christmas projects. That is all I've done, except for my curtains. I worried about being able to finish everything by Christmas, but I think that I don't really have anything to worry about. I mean, the socks that I was planning on making for my dad may have to wait, but as long as I get the tie done in time, I think it will be fine. I'm going to send the gifts out a little before Christmas, and I just can't wait for the tie. I finally found a pattern that doesn't look so stupid. Most hand-knitted ties look ridiculous and stupid, and I am so glad that it looks like a normal tie. I ordered a gorgeous Bordeaux kettle-dyed merino wool/nylon blend for the project, and I just can't wait--it's going to be so beautiful. I think it will look great and so elegant with a navy blue or black suit.
**********End Christmas Spoiler**********
While all this knitting is going on, I finished watching The Pretender and started watching The Practice. I really like the show, but it's only three seasons and I'm already into season 2 (the first season was only six episodes long). I want to see how many seasons of how many shows it takes me to work on the curtains.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
And my birthday…
I can't believe that I didn't say anything about my birthday, either. I love my birthday SO much. I am a little bit of a fanatic. Every year, I try so hard not to mention it, but I am just so excited that it's all I can talk about for weeks beforehand. I feel like such a five-year-old about my stupid birthday (I don't really mean stupid, because my birthday is easily the coolest day of the year). I always say, "I love my birthday" in a way that reminds me of when sweet little Elena Vargas turned five. It was on a fast Sunday and she got up and bore her testimony and said, "I want to bear my testimony and today is my birthday and I turned five and I love my birthday." That is how I feel about my birthday. I just love it so much! And I can't help it. I get so excited like the sun rises and sets for my birthday and my birthday alone.
This year, I finally got a beautiful birthday cake. It was waiting for me when I got home on Tuesday evening (April 28th, the day before my birthday). And I got a wonderful card from Michael that came with a huge button that says "Another Year Sexier" that I totally wore to work (and left on my desk) on Thursday the 30th (when we celebrated at work). I had Wednesday off (hooray my Special Person Day!) and it was a great day. Michael took me to get a massage and we ate cake and treats all day and then had soup and sandwiches for dinner (because that is what I've been wanting for weeks--and I can't stop eating that for lunch and dinner practically every day!).
So my birthday was awesome. We took a long walk in the middle of the day and it was so nice outside--there was fresh-cut grass (which Michael is allergic to but he toughed it out for me because I love the smell so much) and we got to explore our neighborhood. It was just a really nice, relaxing day. My massage was so good. I wish it lasted more than an hour, though, and I already need another one.
I sang "happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday, dear Amanda, happy birthday to me" all throughout my shower. But it's really echoey in there, so I tried to sing really quietly. I got some really great gift cards from Michael's family (and cash from his mom "so [I] can buy whatever gift card I want"). And I got a ton of emails from people I hadn't heard from in a long time (and a couple people I didn't know) thanks to my mom announcing to everyone that it was my birthday. Thanks, Mom.
But it's my golden birthday, which only comes around once in a lifetime, so it was really great to get to celebrate so much. I just love my birthday! I can't wait until next year.
Monday, May 4, 2009
So, about Easter...
What a slacker I am turning out to be. I cannot believe I missed telling you about the best holiday (as far as tasty candy goes) of the year! Easter totally rocked this year. Michael did such a good job, choosing only the best, most delicious treats. Cadbury mini eggs, Hershey's Cadbury mini-egg-wannabes (which are really exceptionally delicious), three different chocolate bunnies, Reese's eggs, Rolos in Easter-colored wrappers, dark chocolate peanut M&Ms (needs a little work with this one), robin eggs (I can't seem to get enough of these delicious little things!), and Cadbury eggs in original, caramel, and orange crème flavors, all in a beautiful Easter basket with pink grass! I am still eating delicious Easter treats. This is, by far, the best Easter I can remember (as far as tasty treats go). I don't have to share them. I did, however, give Michael the obligatory marshmallow egg or whatever, because ew.
My candy stash is very well supplied now for weeks to come. It's wonderful. And I am so happy about it. Easter is truly the best holiday for candy.
I keep the basket in my bedroom and put it on the bed so I can eat treats while I read before bed. Not so good for my teeth, but so good for my tummy. The plus side to having treats in bed is that I am reading again. It's a really great book that Michael makes fun of every time he sees it because it's a cheesy novel by a cheesy mystery writer. But her editor is good--in the 70 pages I've read so far, I've only caught a few things I would change for grammatical correctness. Really well done. Some of the writing is super cheesy, but I just love it. It's a great story. I do love mysteries--whodunits. They are so great. And so is Easter candy. I especially love falling asleep with a book and a basket of candy that Michael has to clear off the bed so he can lie down. I don't know why I get so much joy out of that.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Curtains...
I've been working on curtains, right? Well, I just realized that it is going to take me months of work to finish them, and I don't have that kind of time. I also need new curtains for our bedroom because, for some reason, the curtains in there now don't cover the entire windows. I really want to make beautiful curtains for the bedroom, but with everything else I have to do (work, make Christmas gifts, etc), making curtains that will take at least seven months is a daunting task. We'll see, I guess.
But right now, all projects are taking a hiatus while we are moving. We are pretty much done now--just a few odds and ends and a touch of cleaning to do at our other apartment, and everything is at the new place. In boxes. Piled up everywhere. Staring me down even when I'm miles away at work.
While we've been moving, sleeping on the floor, packing, and almost unpacking, I've fallen behind in every show I watch with my coworkers. And I haven't watched anything just for me. And I don't really miss it, except for the knitting part. I do miss that. And I love to watch something while I knit. So, soon it will be back to the TV and all of the fun that can be had there! And, someday, I will finish two curtain panels and they will be beautiful and they will hang in my living room for the world to enjoy.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Update on TV:
So, as I've been working on a million projects, I have been watching a ton of TV. I've caught up on all of the TV shows (at least through the middle of March, so I'm not more than two weeks behind on any show--what an accomplishment) and I've watched The Pretender through season 2. And I learned there are at least four seasons. I'll have to look it up and see how many there really are. The last few episodes of season 2 were much better than the really formulaic beginnings of the show. It's intense and (I don't remember if this is really true or if I just want it to be true so desperately that I don't remember the real truth) I can't always predict exactly what will happen. I mean, the guys who just never die are finally dead and you can't pretend that maybe they didn't really die anymore. I'm actually excited to start season 3, which is much different from how I felt going into season 2. Don't tell Michael, but I was a little bored by how repetitive the storyline was and how Jarod said the same thing every time--"when I was young, I was taken from my family, blah, blah, blah, and now I'm still searching for them"--I mean, I still enjoyed it, but it just wasn't the same as some shows that are like a book you just cannot put down. This was more like a text book you trudge through because you're going to have a test on it. Except there was no test, just so much knitting to get done that it didn't really matter what I watched.
Sometime last week or the week before, I finished watching CSI season 1 and I just started season 2. It's awesome when I see episodes that I remember watching on TV years ago. It's crazy to think that the show started almost 9 years ago.
I am really enjoying Lie to Me and Michael is enjoying it, too. He only watched the first episode and then clips of others, but I really love when he'll take a second and watch it with me. Too bad no one at work watches the show.
Along with all of the TV shows, I've also been watching my fair share of movies. After the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes escapade, I've since watched some really good movies, the names of which I have long since forgotten. Sorry. But I do remember that I watched Someone Like You and Picture Perfect, both of which I absolutely adore. I love movies that I can watch over and over again. Thinking about watching movies makes me want to run home and watch more movies right now!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Curtains?
It's official. We're moving. It's kind of exciting, really. But the most exciting part right now is that I get to start a new project. I'm knitting lace curtains for our living room window. It's just a small window, but it is a huge project. I chose the pattern from a pretty lace scarf I found online. It's a fairly simple pattern, and I'm hoping it will turn out great. I'm using cotton crochet thread and size 2 knitting needles, so it is going to take forever. I'm going to knit them in two panels and it's taken about 15 hours to knit about an inch of the first panel. It doesn't look super awesome yet, but I think it'll look better once it's blocked.
So, in the meantime, we're packing and slowly moving as we count the days until we are completely moved. There is so much to do still. We've barely started packing. Well, that is a lie. I haven't packed anything except a box of shoes. Michael has packed the DVDs, CDs, VHS tapes, and some books. That is nice.
We signed the contract on Saturday and got the key. Right away, we went to look at it again and take a couple of boxes. They recently painted and everything, so the floors are all dusty and need to be mopped. But that isn't a big deal at all. So, Saturday, we took over just a couple of boxes and a little bit of food (lettuce and feta cheese and other salad treats) and we ate lunch there. It was so fun. I measured the window width, but I couldn't measure the length because it is pretty high.
I've paused all other projects for the time being while I'm working on the new curtains. I've never tried anything like this before, and it's going to be great. The curtains don't really match the tile flooring, but they are the prettiest shade of pink, so they will just look adorable from the outside. And I've decided that hand-knitted lace is so crazy hard. I just hope the finished, blocked project is everything I hope.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
TV
While I'm working on everyone's Christmas gifts, I am seeing that I am also getting a ton of TV watched. I'm currently watching a ton of shows that are on TV now (current season, even, though I still watch them online) and I'm in the middle of season 1 of The Pretender (I used to think Jarod was the hottest guy alive--but that was when I was like 16, so I am sure I am forgiven, and I don't remember thinking how grotesquely formulaic the shows format is or how Jarod totally tortures the bad guys in a way that would get him arrested in a normal world) and season 1 of CSI (I'm shocked at how far graphics have come since the year 2000 and it makes me realize how I can't wait until all TV is digital). I'm totally enjoying all of the shows I'm watching, and I'm also soon to start ER Season 1. I haven't decided yet if, when I start that, I will have to put CSI on hold, but I'm thinking that one TV series from Netflix at a time is my limit. That will be okay, because I'm only halfway through the first season, and I will be able to pick it up again when season 4000 of ER is over.
The TV shows I'm pretty closely following are so numerous, it's almost impossible to list them all. I watch The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, The Colbert Report, COPS, Lost, Friday Night Lights, 24, and Lie to Me. I am not caught up on any except Lost and 24. Watching these shows keeps me up-to-speed with a lot of my coworkers and falling behind would be doom! But I have to admit that I prefer to watch one show (or two shows) at a time from beginning to end. I hate the moment where I catch up and then have to wait from week to week for the next installment. I hated catching up with Lost and 24, even though now we have long conversations about the shows the morning after they air (or afternoon, if someone didn't catch it the previous evening--I watch them before work in the morning, actually--and has to watch it while at work). That is a great benefit of keeping up--I get so much more out of the program because everyone else remembers so much more than I do.
I have big plans this weekend to catch up on Friday Night Lights. It's going to be great. There are three of us who are about the same amount behind in the show and we're all going to catch up this weekend. It will be really fun to talk about it with someone else.
It seems so strange to talk about all of the TV I watch. I mean, it doesn't feel like I watch very much TV at all. I work with a ton of TV watchers, though, so TV is just part of our culture. It also may be that I always watch it while I'm knitting and sitting at my computer so it doesn't feel like watching anything--it's just on to be something else while I'm just sitting there.
Yesterday, while I was watching all of my court shows and then Attack of the Killer Tomatoes and then some episodes of The Pretender, I got two gifts about 90% done. It is so exciting to me to get more and more done. I've started a surprise project and I'm really excited to see how it goes. I hope it totally rocks. It involves turning a heel, so I know I'll be so good at it!
Friday, February 20, 2009
Turning the Heel
I am so excited that I've taught myself how to turn a heel. I am going to be a sock-knitting machine! On Monday, I was knitting for about 16 hours and I finished a lovely little ankle sock. Next time, I'm going to use bigger needles, chunkier yarn, and spend less time on a single sock!
But I couldn't believe how easy it was--why on earth was it so hard for me to figure out? The gusset is so incredibly easy! It is all just a piece of cake. Making the heel flap, turning the heel, making the gusset--so simple. So if anyone wants a pair of socks, I will be more than happy to teach you how to turn the heel! You'll love it.
The socks I'm making are black ankle socks with a really pretty lace pattern. I knitted one whole sock on Monday, and then on Wednesday, I knitted about half the second sock and ran out of yarn. I thought I had enough--so I was kind of upset. It's dye-lotted yarn, so I can only hope that the next skein I get doesn't clash too badly. So, I'll probably get enough next time to make another pair of socks, too, so that I can choose to do that later on.
The funniest thing about knitting the sock is that the yarn isn't colorfast, so, by the end of the day, my fingers had turned greyish black and it was so deeply engrained into the prints on my fingers that I just finally got it all out this morning.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Massive Amounts of Projects Underway as We Speak!
**Spoiler alert--if you are expecting a Christmas gift from me and don't want to know what it is, please skip this part**
**End of Christmas spoiler**
So, with all of the frustration of the Lover's Knot Afghan, which I have again dismantled, I have been working on Christmas projects. I can't believe how much I've gotten done! My sister's bag is done. My other sister's bag would be done, but the felting process went awry and now I don't know what to do to fix it because it looks awful. So disappointing! But I have also finished Amos's scarf and hat. I improvised both patterns myself. And they look great! But then, I started working on these slipper socks for Chelsea's family, and I've finished James's so far. They aren't turning out how I imagined, but they are going to be just fine, I think. I can't believe how fast I'm finishing them. I've gotten James's totally done. His are brown and grey--I held a strand of each together the whole way through. Now, I'm working on Yayo's--his are grey and blue. The top will just be grey and the sole I'm making with blue and grey held together for a little extra cushion. I'm hoping to get those done this week. Then just three more pair and I'm done with that group of Christmas gifts. I can't believe what I have done already! It's really fascinating to me how much I can get done if I just do it.
**End of Christmas spoiler**
I've gotten a season and a half of Friday Night Lights watched in the last week and a half while I've been working on all of these projects. And movies and court shows and so many other things. It's awesome. I am loving Friday Night Lights. It's a great show--really intense. It seems a bit unrealistic for high school kids, but it's just so good! I don't remember parents being okay with the fact that sophomores are out drinking and having sex all the time or that juniors show up drunk or with hangovers to everything. Even in a small town. But it's just so good, I can't complain. I think I'll watch an episode right now…
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