So, I thought I would just LOVE to be pregnant and look pregnant. I love when other girls look pregnant--I think it's the cutest thing alive. I have always wanted to be pregnant and have a baby, and I thought I would love it. And I am glad that I'm showing. But it's so hard for me to be getting bigger. I don't feel pregnant, I just feel fat. I don't feel cute at all. I feel replusive. Maybe things will be differnent next month when I will maybe be able to start feeling the baby move, I will feel better about how big I'm getting. It doesn't help when people tell me "wow, I wasn't that big until I was 6 months pregnant." I know that I'm a lot shorter than most people, so I'm going to show a lot more because there's nowhere else for anything to go. My stomach pokes out--and has since I was about 7 weeks--and it looks noticeably bigger after I eat or drink. That's just how it is.
I'm trying really hard to not feel so negative about how fat I am because it's not like my face and neck are fat--they look just the same as ever so far--so, really, it's all just in my belly that I'm gaining all of this mass. I want to feel adorable and cute and everything, but it's just so hard. I'm excited to be pregnant, and I want to feel like I'm as cute as every other pregnant girl. Sometimes, I do, but then when I remember that under the bulge in my shirt is my skin, it makes it really hard to think that it's cute anymore--that is my body stretching and growing before your very eyes.
But every other pregnant girl is adorable. I don't know what's wrong with me that I'm not.
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maybe a good start would be overcoming the idea that fat=repulsive. you can still be cute and fat. just a thought.
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