So, I'm now entering my 9th week of pregnancy. The waiting for the first real appointment is killing me. I can't believe it's still two weeks away. In the meantime, I'm left alone with my crazy fears. The one I just can't shake is the same one I had when I went for the ultrasound--that the baby won't be there. Except that, unlike the ultrasound, I fear the baby will somehow vaporize, or disintegrate, or otherwise disappear, because we have the adorable picture of the peanut baby on the fridge right now. So I know that the baby did exist at one point. But every moment that I'm not totally sick to my stomach, I get so nervous that I'm not pregnant anymore and the baby disappeared. Michael keeps insisting to me that is the absolute last thing that would ever happen and it isn't even the realm of possibility. But I can't stop fearing it.
This morning, I woke up and didn't feel fat and pregnant anymore, and I freaked out until I looked in the mirror and saw that the belly is still there. That is comforting. I love that my belly is already getting so big.
Here's a great picture of me right after I got home from work and right before I had to take a nap. It's taken exactly at 8 weeks, going into the 9th week. I'm not joking--I'm huge (and it's not bloating, I promise--I haven't been bloated for weeks now).
you look so cute! (and your hair has gotten so long since I last saw you.)
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