Back to Sick

October 22, 2009

Don't worry. The nausea is still alive and kicking. I was so excited to just be able to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, but that will not be the case forever, it feels like. This morning, I was totally fine until I walked out of the door this morning. As I walked up the stairs, I started feeling so sick I debated just going right back inside. But I walked to Emily's house instead of just going back to bed. So now I'm at work today, suffering through intense bouts of nausea to have those small moments where it seems totally fine to eat a Crystal Stick--and I've eaten two today, so I can't be doing too badly.

I brought some delicious eggs with cheese, celery, and red peppers for lunch today, but I just can't make myself eat it. I guess I shouldn't gain as much weight as I've been gaining, because I'm already so incredibly huge, so I guess it's fine. Eating delicious food all the time is totally overrated, anyway. (But I don't really believe that--because I live for delicious food).

All of the nausea is supposed to be gone by the end of the month for sure, so that is really nice. I can only hope it's for real. Even if I can't just eat whatever I want whenever I want, it'll be so nice to at least not want to die instead of eat anything. Once or twice a day, I try really hard to force myself to eat something just because I should and not just because I can eat it. It's working pretty well.

Except, I can't eat salad anymore, no matter how much I try, which is really sad. I ate salad every day for over two weeks, and now I just can't do it. But I can't eat treats very well, either. I'm slowly easing into it, but it's really hard because I usually just want to eat treats. Now I eat healthful snacks and meals. But it's nice to eat a little treat after a meal. Meals are nice, too.